Eternally Innocent

Trying it Out

2009-03-06T20:25:00.002+08:00

Just trying it out for my favorite people in the world. If you are Emily, Olivia, Jenna, Harry or any of my students, you can visit here and leave messages. Swear, i;ll update this blog very often with pictures and stuff. Okay?

Call Center

2008-01-14T19:45:00.000+08:00

Beep.

Smiling at the computer monitor. Nodding head thoughtfully, hand gripping mouse, pointing pointer to link. Click. Click. Disclosures. Empathizes. Apologizes. Recognizes. Mute button. Mutters curse. Un-mute. SMiles again. Explains. Explains again. And again. More mepathy. Owning caller's concern. Conversation: 7 minutes, 14 seconds and counting. More explanation, tight smiles, mouse banging on the desk. Nodding, nodding, nodding. Yes. Perfect. Precisely. Excellent.Sighs in relief.

Release.

Surprise Addiction

2008-01-14T19:36:00.000+08:00

Laying on the bed, side awake, my cellphone by my side. Straining to hear every sound, waiting for the tell-tale beep to confirm that I have been remembered by you. Clock ticking, silence prevails and I get slightly annoyed. Not at you but at myself. I didn't even realize that I was addicted to that cursed beep, that blasted connection I allowed myself to imagine.

Only 3 more hours til the alarm goes off.

Silence.

Damn.

Shattered

2008-01-13T14:29:00.000+08:00

One tiny crack from one lousy day and she has been shattered. Not all at once, no, that would have been too kind. Instead, she crumbled, bit by miniscule bit, so small that nobody even noticed.

She ignored the gnawing in her gut, wore a deceptive smile and she walked on as she was being chipped away at. Maybe she figured that she was breaking but she never said a word. She hid the faults and covered the cracks with one laugh after another.

Her destruction came from one tiny crack. And now, no one can recognize her, not even herself. For she was once whole but now no less than ash, And all from that one tiny crack.

It started from her heart.

The Fairytale Endeth

2008-01-13T14:22:00.000+08:00

She waited in her tower
00for a prince to set her free
She waited, oh so patiently
00for the day that she;d meet he.
By the window, she looked out
00and searched for signs of armor
Day and night she prayed and prayed
00for a meeting filled with splendor.
In her heart she sang of songs
00for the prince she has yet to meet.
She often worried about the that thought
00that a dragon he must beat.
Days turned to months and then to years
00but still she kept on waiting
Of fairytales and happy endings
00that's the promise she's expecting
One fateful day, by some mistake
00she found her door was open
Staring at the pathway down
00she kept her doubts unspoken.
And when she reached the outside world
00she looked back at the tower.
She realized witha heavy heart
00that in her was the power
All those years she waited
00for a prince who'd never come
What she needed was herself
00and courage, maybe some.
So she walked away from the tower
00for everything she knew
She started humming the prince's song
00she knew wasn't coming true
With a sign and a drop of tear
00she ended her dreams of glory
No more princes, no more castles
00she's making her own story.

Back From the Dead

2008-01-12T21:54:00.000+08:00

Almost one year of non-blogging and I barely even noticed it. Everyone I know is blogging on Multiply or Myspace or other equally commercialized site and I have to admit that I have posted quite a few entries on those channels as well. But I miss the anonymity of this space (how much anonymity can it give me when my name is the URL? Haha!) and I think I might start writing again on this space. You see, I kinda lost my flame for writing when I started working. Let's just say that I focused more on my oral communication that the connection between my brain and my hand is a bit rusty. Sure, I still scribble and doodle but nothing of substance comes from it usually. I miss being able to find the exact words to say, to put those words in the exact order which can convey how I feel and what I think the best, I miss being little miss writer. Needless to say, my creative writing has been put on an indefinite hiatus since my job and i'm going to start over, with journal entries and maybe, when i've rediscovered my literary groove, I will lift the hold on my writing. For now, though, I am a 2nd timer with the whole blogging/writing experience. And with the non-popular status of this space, I won't be afraid to make a total and utter fool of myself. Haha. Welcome back to me. :)

Random Musings...

2007-04-23T14:58:00.000+08:00

Pardon this hodge-podge of hullaballoos, I can't be arsed to make a coherent entry as of the moment. :)

Saying Goodbye to Teen-hood

Yikes! I always thought that being twenty years old would make me--err, old. Now, only 2 days beforfe the "big 2-0", I don't feel any different. I still feel like I did when I started going to UST, the same as I felt when I started going to highschool. I know i'm different, I wouldn't be normal if I stayed exactly the same but what i'm saying is that it's notthat big of a deal after all. Twenty years isn't that bad. Especially since I've gone through a lot of ups and downs (no worse tha others, i'm sure) but i'm still standing. QUite proud, i must say. So, i'm nearly twenty years old.
Bring it on!

American Idol

Boo!!!! I haven't watched Idol in a couple of week due to work. Psh. I'm glad Sanjaya's out and I think that Lakisha won't move on to the end as well. I am still expecting a Jordin-Melinda finals but I would be soooo happy if Blake made final 3. Needless to say, i still luuurrrvvveee Blakey boy. He does look like a trool--a little bit but he's my troll. Hehe.

BackTracking

I read all my past entries on this blog and it surprises me to no end that sometimes, i make complete sense! ';ve unearthed a lot of smart posts and i feel quite proud that i may be as smart as ai think I am. Lol. It's very therapeutic, following my life in blog entries. I can't wait to see what a nother 2 years of blogging would reveal to me. :)

My little rant...

2007-04-15T13:38:00.000+08:00

I'm tired of feeling as though I have to defend my choices. And I hate that I have to feel like i'm of lesser value just because I choose something that is considered to be the easy way out. Guess what? There is NO easy way out. I hope that people stop being so judgemental and pretend that they know everything about everything.

I spent 4 painful years of trying to battle the misconception that Communication Arts students are dumb girls who know nothing but pose and apply make-up. Now, I can't believe that i'm being put in a similar predicament--just because I took a job at a call center agency. I won't try to be all wise and mature, I also had prejudices againstc all center agents. But never had I ever thought to myself too good to be one. NEVER. I'm so disappointed that a lot of people are telling me that I could've done so much better, that I could've taken a more "intelectually challenging" job instead of a "dead-end" one. You can't imagine how my blood boils whenever I hear those words.

There is nothing, I repeat, NOTHING in this world that is easy. Everything is hard on different levels and while a lot of people think that call center people just talk on the phone, it actually involves intellectual ability to get the job right. Surprise! *rolls eyes* We can't all be rocket scientists (or eventologists, whatever) and pardon me for taking the job which offered me the most amount of money. You can hang on to your "intellectually challenging" job and i'll hang on to my poor little job title and my fat wallet, si?

I hate that I have to feel as though I have to defend my life all over again. I hate that I feel like I have to prove myself again--but I really don't mind that since I can actually prove my worth. And I am NOT gonna stay stagnant for long, but if I do decide to make call-centering a long time job, i'm going to make sure that I slap in your face the details of my progress. It's not a dead-end thing, mind you. Nothing is a dead-end. Again, NOTHING.

Damn it. I hate being ruffled by stupid comments. I hate being looked down on and I hate annoying little people who doesn't know anything buyt think of themselves as better off than other people. Grow up!

Innocence Meets Real

2007-03-30T22:01:00.000+08:00

Today was my first week at work and although I was prepared for the changes that will occur in my life, I don't think I could've expected exactly how misplaced I would feel once I enter the workforce--the call center industry, especially. I've always been proud of the fact that i'm younger than the usual applicants and I maintain that my age is not at all a hindrance to my ability, seeing that i'm actually at par (if not better) than other people who are older than me. It's not my age that's the problem, it's my experience--or lack of them, to put it more aptly. I've always known that I was sheltered but never knew until now up to what extent. Getting along with different kinds of people isn't a problem on my part, it's not losing myself that will a challenge, I think. I think of myself as soft cement. I could follow any mould and I still don't know how I should turn out and (God forbid) I could very well turn out crooked or uneven. It scares me because I know how easily I get swayed and although I'll be trying my damned hardest to maintain who I think I am right now, I know that I will change; I will adapt to the environment that I am now a part of; I will lose some of myself in the course of this experience.

I miss Merlynn and Pinky badly, really, I do. At the risk of sounding needy and even more immature, I believe that I could pull through with this experience with less scars with them around. FOr four years, they kept me grounded and perhaps I depend on them mor ethan I dare to admit. I miss them and I wish that we could've gotten in the same company now.

I miss school. That was my comfort zone, thel earning environment I so meticulously draped over my existence for more than 15 years. I already miss projects and quizzes and prelim exams where if you mess up, tehre'll be other opportunities to even up the score. The way I see it, I have to do more than just average to succeed, and I really really want to succeed. I miss summer vacation. Even though I don't really do anything special during vacation, it's the time where I get to sleep in and watch TV the whole day, now it is no more. I kind of feel that a bit of my innocence has already been taken away from me, having been 'pushed' into the real world so soon.
I wish I could go back to school, I wish I could be a university student again, I wish that this is just a crazy dream and that I wake up as a freshman in the Faculty of Arts and Letters. But in case this is really real, I have to prep myself for the pending changes that I am sure to encounter during my stint as a working girl. It's tough to imagine that i'll be working for many many years ahead. The only consolation? Payday. Lol.

You win some, you lose him...

2007-03-24T09:00:00.000+08:00

My relatively drama-free nineteen years of experience has come to an end. And I guess it's my fault, as well. Actually, I know it's my fault. This post has no form, no flow, just what I feel right now. I hate to be cheesy but this is still practice for my pending writing comeback. Bear with me (yeah, Pinx, i'm talking to you).

I've never really liked anyone before, save for a few major crushes. After all, i've always been concentrated on my academics and I really don't know a lot of guys to begin with. I guess I was (am) an innocent goody two shoes..boring and plain. Heh. We can't all be gorgeous, can we?

I digress.

I thought I finally met the guy who would make me swoon and blush. For a while, I was convinced that he was they guy that'd maybe make me (insert the cheesiest expression here. I feel stupid typing it. First letter for each word: F, I, L respectively). I got so caught up with feeling so attracted and connected to him that I managed to convince myself that I really, really, really, really like him. And it's not that I don't. That's my problem. I like him but I don't know how much. Maybe i'm trying to over-analyze everything but I'm not convinced that i'm in deep attraction with him. He doesn't know me much and I don't know about him much. And the 'connection' i'm talking about, does it count? I'm doubtful and I'm left with a lot of questions that my trusty textbooks and academic research cannot answer. For the first time, I am left with trusting my instincts but I don't know how. I'm so used to being cognitive that my instincts have taken the back seat for the longest time.

So, what now?

I don't know. I still like him and I still want to know more about him and I want him to know more about me. I'm tempted to say that i'm going to take one day at a time but right now, even one day seems too much. The little girl is growing up, I think and I need a hand to hold to guide me through this. Damn it! I'll take Media Law any day over this crazy heart/life stuff! What I desperately want is for him and I to work out. I will try and try until I find trying a waste of time. Until I get tired of trying. Until I find someone/something else to bother with.

For a smart girl, I can be totally clueless about other stuff.

Adios, Tomas!

2007-03-23T22:17:00.000+08:00

March 23, 2007--a Friday just like any other friday for some but not for Thomasians. Today was our Baccalaureate Mass at the Grandstand. Today was our last day as Thomasians, our last day wearing our uniforms, our last day as university students. Today was a day of closure and goodbyes but unlike other types of goodbyes, we weren't sad when we said them. Instead, we were hopeful. Hopeful that the future holds many wonders for us to discover, many joys for us to experience and many lessons for us to learn. For four years, we have experienced things that we never thought we could survive: countless quizzes, academic papers, productions, presentations, and of course, our theses. We never thought we would face so much hurdles in university but somehow we surpassed everything (with grace, might I add). Whether we admit it or not, I think that the four years we spent inside the university had the most bearing on our character. We all grew as individuals and we became stronger, tougher and more determined. I will miss my blockmates and my university but I know that I'm not saying goodbye to them permanently. I will always be a Thomasian just as I will always be a part of the 4CA1 Caliente team. Always.

The fireworks that lit up the sky for a good 5-10 minutes reminded us the beauty of the sky. That amid the dark night, a single spark can bring so much joy and hope to everyone. We all craned our necks so as not to miss one moment of the colorful fireworks display. Today was one of those days when I wished desperately that I had my own camera. I would've wanted to capture as much of today as possible but I'm sure that my classmates would post their images soon and i'll just borrow their pictures. We sang the UST Hymn for the last time, facing the main building which looked proud and majestic with its rustic stone facade. It became the symbol of our university and the sight of the Main Building tonight will be etched in our memories forever.

Aside from the fireworks, the highlight of the night was walking out of the Arc of the Century. We walked in through the arc when we were freshmen and now, we walked out as graduates. Full circle. Our journey as students is complete but our journey as Thomasians is just beginning. This time around, we face the challenge of maintaining our Thomasian values and character through the various hurdles of real life. We understand that this may be harder than anything we've ever dealt with within the university but there's no doubt in my heart that we can surpass everything. We've made true friends that will help us through the tough times, we've learned lessons (academic and otherwise) that will help us in our chosen careers as well as dealing with people we will be meeting and we have a tremendous amount of hope that things will turn out as God planned.

So, we say goodbye to our dear Santo Tomas, our second home for the last 4 years. We shall miss thy halls and parks, your classrooms and professors but we bring with us memories that will last us through our lifetime. We bring with us lessons and friends that we will be keeping forever. And we shall be bringing your good name with us for eternity. Thank you UST for 4 years of learning, we will make you proud, wait and see.

Untitled

2007-03-22T21:48:00.000+08:00

She looks down at the ground, refusing to look up at the sky. She has been there, she once had wings, too. But her wings are no more, taken back by their rightful owner, sending her plummeting down to earth. Away from the clouds and airplanes. They never even tried to save her, they just looked on as she fell down...

She remembered looking into his eyes as she fell. The eyes of the king of the sky, warm and brown. She held out her hand but he flew higher and higher, leaving her to plummet down to land. It was he who made her want to fly, it was he whom she wanted to reach but he was the king of the sky and she was falling.

She looks at the ground, refusing to look at the sky. She had wings, once but not anymore. She knew how it felt like to float with the clouds and the airplanes and the king of the sky, and she knew how to fall alone. The earth is her prison, gravity is her captor.

The color of her sky was brown.

**Random piece from 5 minutes ago. I was just talking to Pinky about wanting to go back to writing and all the things that we needed to talk about and then I wrote this. Tadah! :) I need more practice, I think.

**TO PINKY: I know you understand what I wrote. :) I really enjoy talking to you especially since you know how to boost up my confidence perfectly. I will write again, that much I am certain of. And you know determined I can get when I make up my mind to do something. I feel like this is a new beginning, a lot changes are in store for me. Glad that you're with me on this crazy ride. Will see you soon.

(Yikes! That looked like a private message.. Well, it was--only it's not private)

As Filipino As It Gets

2007-03-20T23:19:00.000+08:00

Growing up, I never really felt a strong affection toward my heritage. Society praised me for having white complexion and for a while, I thought myself superior over those who were darker than I. I strove hard to perfect the English language and with every sentence I constructed flawlessly, the people around me applauded and showered me with even more praise. I honestly thought that by striving to become as American-like as possible, I would be a cut above the rest; I would be a notch higher than the ordinary third world citizens that were my peers.

In high school, however, my sense of self had already begun to blossom and while I didn’t realize it yet, I had doubts with regard to the supposed inferiority of Filipinos as a race. I started appreciating the Filipino skin tone but try as I might (perhaps it’s karma), I can’t make my mayonnaise complexion warmer regardless of the number of hours I spend under the sun. Instead of the wonderful bronze everyone would get, I would turn lobster red and then back to my original pasty complexion. Then I started appreciating the Filipino culture. My fantasy of having a Hawaiian getaway was replaced by a longing to go island hopping in Palawan and see tarsiers in Bohol. I ate rice more heartily, loving every grain of subtle sweetness that is showered over my excited little tastebuds. I used the Filipino language more sparingly, I made an effort to improve my pronunciation, diction and sentence construction—although I am still in the process of perfecting my communication skills in Filipino. I became comfortable with the idea that I, no matter how white my complexion is, or how fluent I am in English, am a third-world citizen from an archipelago in South East Asia called the Philippines.

Now, I eat balut and isaw and all the other foodstuff that foreigners dread tasting, I curse in Filipino fluently and slowly but surely, I am learning to love all the aspects of being part of this heritage. I shop in Divisoria, give alms to countless street children and clutch my bag tightly while squeezing my way through throngs of people in Quiapo.

But along with my being comfortable with being Filipino, I am afraid that I am also getting used to the poverty and the chaos that is being linked to our race. I was looking out the bus window and I rarely noticed the level of social deprivation of the citizens. Mangy kids are but an ordinary sight to behold and charity and pity is often denied to them precisely because of them being a fixture in our everyday existence. When I looked around (and I mean really look around) as the bus started moving, I saw gray everywhere. Everything was scruffy and sad-looking, a bit desperate to tell you honestly. The buildings are old and dilapidated, the streets lined with barely standing shanties and makeshift houses, people bustle around looking tired and worn out—it’s hard to remain proud of a race which reeks of social inequity and poverty. The distressing fact is that there is so much change to be done and we are far, far behind schedule.

In the midst of all these, however, there is one thing that never fails to make me proud of our race. No matter how poor a family is, no matter how hard the times are, we never seem to lose hope. Hope that things will get better, hope that the new day will bring about more opportunities and blessings, hope that greener pastures will be available in out own homeland. Smiling, it seems, is the great Filipino hobby, along with singing and eating. Maybe we are immune to the devastation brought about by poverty, maybe we are just a bit crazy being so darn happy all the time but I’m glad that we are a happy race. Without our jovial nature, we would have been driven to commit mass suicide many years ago and the country would be a ghost country, save for a few elites, don’t you think?

So when things get a bit too much for a certain fair skinned, English speaking girl who can’t hold a tan, she does what Filipinos do best: Smile, hope and live life day to day (and maybe throw a bit of karaoke as well). Even if she can’t say nakakapagpabagabag without biting off her own tongue, she’s as Filipino as it gets.

Wide Open Spaces

2007-03-12T11:58:00.000+08:00

"She needs wide open spaces
Room to make her big mistakes
She needs new faces
She knows the high stakes "
--Wide Open Spaces, Dixie Chicks

That's how I feel right now. I just want to break out and see the world, explore what I haven't yet seen or heard, meet the people whom I would never meet otherwise. Perhaps my yearning for an adventure stems from the fact that in my 19 years of existence, I have been kept within the safe confines of home and school No parties for this girl, no social life, no nothing. My parents mean well, I am sure of that, but I can't help but feel as though i've often been on a tight leash. The good thing about the situation is that i'm as "good" as good girls get. I'm devoted to my family and school, i've done well with academics and I haven't gotten into trouble (real trouble, that is) yet. The downside is that I don't really know much about anything in the world. I drank my very first bottle of Vodka Ice on March 5 and also entered my first bar (without any connection to school activities) and my first time to stay out till 2 am doing nothing. People sometimes treat me like a precious gem, as if I would break if exposed to new things but really, how am I going to learn if I don't experience things for myself, right? I've been living vicariously through the experiences of others that I know the theories of the lessons that I should have learned had I been in that situation. You could look at my situation either positively or negatively, even I can't figure out where I stand. The only thing that i'm sure of is that i'm old enough to find my place in the sun.

But can I really just break the 19 year old 'leash' that I have been on come graduation time? Apparently not. I haven't even gotten my diploma yet but my mom and I have been arguing quite a lot in the past few days. My mom has always stressed that being the eldest daughter, I would help out with the expenses of my family. I respect and accept that. But i'm getting the impression that we have totally different things in mind when it comes to jobs. My plan really is to engage in jobs with big pay so I could jumpstart my savings and then when I have a bot of money stashed, I would probably pursue what I want to do in life (which is a lot of different things!). I just didn't expect that my mom would be pushing me into the fray this, erm, violently. Before, she was encouraging me to try out different options but now, she's fixated on call center jobs with the sign-on bonuses. Like I said, I have nothing against that but the way she's pushing me to apply immediately is driving me insane...especially since i'm considering being an english tutor. I've always wanted to be a teacher but got discouraged by my mom--she was right, though. I am better in Communcation Arts than I would have been in Education. It's just that I never lost my interest in teaching and this is as close to teaching as I could get without a Masters Degree.

I've been rambling. This was not the original intent of this post.

I feel trapped here. I want to grow and live life but I'm still bound by the invisible ties to my family. Hence, my plan to get out of the country to stat my own life there. Of course, Mom is completely against that idea but i'm pretty much decided. I figure that when i'm a whole continent away, I wouldn't be scared of taking risks because they wouldn't know if I fail. I probably wouldn't play safe when I'm far away from the people who didn't let a mosquito lay on me when I was young. I love them dearly but I have to be my own person...and the best place to do that is far, far from here, where if I cry, I cry alone. Do you understand what i'm saying or am I completely looney?

"Cause' I don't wanna' spend my life jaded
Waiting to wake up one day and find
That I've let all these years go by
Wasted "
---Wasted, Carrie Underwood

Limbo

2007-03-06T13:23:00.000+08:00

How do you sum up four years of cuh-razy memories in one post?

After 8 semesters of laughter, fights, [back]stabbing and friendship, I now find myself amidst a whirlwind of emotions, the most prominent one being fear. All of a sudden, my comfort zone of being in an academic environment is pulled out from beneath my feet. I know I should've had prepared better for this but the truth is, I was too scared even before to think beyond the security university life offered me. I became too attached to my blockmates, to the routine that was being a crazy Communication Arts major. I relished the stress of Adver/IMC/Media Law/BroadJourn in spite of my constant bitching. I love staying up all night for projects and case digests, I loved being in class in spite of lack of sleep, I adore performing 3 tasks in one given time, I love cramming, I love every bit of school--stress most especially.

You're free to call me crazy now. :)

But stress was only bearable because I knew I wasn't alone. I took comfort in the fact that there were roughly 20 other people who were sharing the burden I was carrying. That gave me the extra push to be the cheerful little dwarf I am/was. I honsetly don't know where I'd be after graduation. No more friendly 'musta na' texts, no more heated arguments on IMC strategies, no more sly glances on other people's test papers. It'll just be me and the world. The people I depended on would still share my burden, that much I am sure of, but our playground is much bigger now. With a lot more bullies around. And less swings and slides.

Sigh.

How do I squeeze in 4 years of major major memories in one post? I can't. I refuse to roll up all the wonderful and extensive experiences I had in the university in the name of pseudo-documentation. Perhaps in time, i'll forget parts of my existence as a Thomasian, like i've forgotten things about my highschool I swore I'd never forget, but i'm sure the most important memories would remain. I'd have my trusty friends to remind me. :)

***Graduation day is April 2, 2007

****I just had to say that to make it sound official. I'm graduating!!! Whee!!!!

*****I hope I don't become a corporate bitch. Yikes.

Fresh Look

2007-02-27T01:56:00.000+08:00

Yeah, so I decided to change my layout/skin. I really loved my old layout, it was so me but it just felt like it was time to change. Change is good. Change is inevitable. And I induced change--if only in my blog. We'll see how many weeks i'll be able to hang on to this light/placid/simple skin. In case it's not evident, I love bold designs and bright colors.

Papansin ako eh.

So, viva la vie blogger!

And now, the end is near

2007-02-27T00:00:00.000+08:00

After Monday, March 4, 2007, we are home free. No more recitations, no more quizzes, no more sadistic professors, no more thesis, no more university! I still don't know how to feel about that, one part of me is excited but there's another part of me that's really terrified of being "out there". Although I absolutely loathe routines, I must admit that the student routine (go to school, work your ass off, get okay grades, work harder, get better grades, be happy) is comforting. It's scary to thing that in a few days, it'll all be over. What will I do then?

The problem is not that I can't see myself building a career, my problem is that I can see myself in every career possible that I can't choose just one. I know I lambasted my advertising professor in my last post but i'm still interested in the advertising industry. I am resigned to the fact that I don't have enough creative muscles to be a good copywriter but I do like the idea of being an accounts planner. Perhaps it's my love of the limelight that makes me think that I'd be a good accounts planner. I could totally see myself presenting IMC plan after IMC plan, jotting down recommendations and suggestions from clients, looking all intent and serious, maybe even standing up for the plan and not giving in to revisions and adjustments (lol! as if?!). That could be my life.

While i'm in the advertising career fantasy, I think i'd also be a great media planner. I've been the class media planner since our first advertising class. Scheduling and placing ads are great fun, trying to work with a specific budget tickles my math fetish and I like figuring out whether or not to use flighting, pulsing or continuous advertising..hmmm... That could be my life.

Or I could be a production assistant in a television outfit. Sure, it'll be hardwork and it'll be even harder for me since I absolutely hate sweating but I think it'll be interesting to be part of the team which makes shows possible. Of course, the pay isn't that high so i'm less likely to enter that field (unless we win the lottery and i don't have to work for money anymore. lol). Or maybe I could be a scriptwriter or concept developer. Then I could suggest shows which aren't overtly dramatic and overflowing with cheese. Maybe I could be the savior of Philippine television someday! I'll be known as the woman who changed the face of Philippine shows! That would be something, wouldn't it?

Or, I could go back to school and study law. I've been fascinated by the whole legal world ever since the first meeting of Media Law but if I become a lawyer, i'd only be a lawyer here in the country. I'd have to study a different constitution to be a lawyer elsewhere.

Or I could act on my frustration of being a teacher. I could take up extra education units so I could be an elementary or highschool teacher and then take up Masters Degree so I could be a professor. I would so totally be a great teacher. I'm patient and I like explaining and re-explaining stuff and i'm sure they'd love me! Really! (The problem of this plan is money. Can't go back and take extra classes unless I have money, can I? Sucks!)

I could go on and on but a thought came to me: I won't be able to act on any of these possibilities if I don't graduate. This week, we have a ton of requirements to be submitted, a music video, a documentary, a crisis simulation, a magazine and brochures (Desktop Publishing sucks!!!) and a couple more things that I won't mention because it would further remind me of the amount of hard work that I have to give out this week. For that matter, I shouldn't really be blogging... Eep!

Far From Painless

2007-02-03T22:19:00.000+08:00

I don't feel like posting this on my MULTIPLY ACCOUNT because I know that the moment I do so, a lot of my blockmates would instantly offer okay-lang-yan’s and kaya-nyo-yan’s. Not that i'm ungrateful for the sympathy and words of encouragements, it's just that it's too soon to be open to the prospect of, ehem, moving on.

Oh, don't be misled. I’m not talking about something earth-shattering here. All this drama is caused by the evil people of the University of Santo Tomas Faculty of Arts and Letters. Ha! And you almost thought I already had a love life.

Today was thesis defense day. I have to admit that I already knew that we didn't have an astonishing manuscript. Well, to be fair, we didn’t really get much guidance. Those who know the story behind our slow and painful hell will (undeniably and completely!!!) understand. But because I want to re-live the memories, here goes:

Our first thesis adviser sucked. That simple. Well, he's a pretty good advertising professor but he doesn’t know squat about research. But that was okay for us. We thought that he'd at least steer us in the right direction, helping us with the advertising part of our thesis but it turns out that when he said that he doesn't know anything about research, he meant it to the highest level of seriousness. He checked our grammar and that’s it. We did our best to come up with the most credible entries as we could, even though we felt that we were feeling around in the dark. This professor had a pending case with one of our classmate. My classmate alleged that the professor had no basis in giving him a failing grade and he further alleged that he has a screwy record (not the exact words, of course). One day, the professor texted us out of the blue and asked for a thesis consultation. We were sooooo excited. We thought that he would finally be involved in our thesis as our adviser and not just our personal grammar-checker. Imagine our surprise, dismay and annoyance when barely 3 minutes into our “thesis consultation”, he went into the topic of our classmate and his case and faster than we could say “no comment”, he whipped up a letter and asked us to sign it to be used against our blockmate. When we refused, he said it was okay but as a parting message, he said: “Baka gusto nyo nang magpalit ng thesis adviser, tutal, strained na yung relationship natin.” Just like that, we were orphans. That was around November last year. Imagine, with just 1 month before the submission date (which was to be pushed back to January 4), he dropped us with a barely baked thesis with no hard-hitting purpose or objective (but with impeccable grammar, if I may say so myself). Luckily, we found a new thesis adviser, with the help of our previously mentioned blockmate (whom we think we made feel very guilty. Hehe). We were bombarded with major revisions and that’s when we found out the extent of the mediocrity of our study. We, again, strived to salvage what was salvageable, giving up most of our Christmas vacation in the name of our thesis and graduation. We pulled it off. Or so we thought.
Fast forward to today, 10:00-ish in the morning, room number 111. Panelist number 1 (whom I fought with last semester, a story for next time) was surprisingly very understanding and even forgiving. Panelist number 2, however, had a lot of things to say. If I’m not mistaken, and I don’t think I am, he wants a major MAJOR MAJOR revision of our thesis, so much so that we would be practically changing the whole thing. With 28 units?! We thought we would die right there and then. In the end, panelist number 1 offered us with solutions to our thesis and panelist number 2 conceded that we could get away with our super squishy thesis. No tears were shed today but I think I speak for both my thesis-mates that our hearts and spirits were bruised.

On the up side, I wasn't at all nervous with the presentation. Aside from the fact that our thesis had the intellectual level of a kindergarten project, I knew all the concepts and I could defend them with my life (asus!). We concluded that we were more scared during advertising/IMC presentations than the defense. Also, we decided that adver/IMC presentations were more enjoyable, even though we had tough critics (our blockmates had to grill us for grades). And we'd rather do 2 IMC plans weekly than do thesis. I don’t get why we’re compelled to do research. Sorry to the fans of research. Give me production, give me brainstorming and briefings and presentations. Just don't expect me to have a brand-spanking-new communication theory anytime soon.

I'm super tempted to rag on the professors who are terrorizing us this sem but I think I’ll do that next time. It’ll be to easy to pour all my frustration on my poor professors.

And I’m tired of typing. =)

the pain of silence

2006-08-24T15:09:00.000+08:00

For most of you who know me, you'll agree that i am probably one of the most talkative people you've ever met, no? I always have a lot of kwento and i love swapping ideas with other people. Perhaps I am synonymous to the word talk. But imagine if you see me and I don't launch into my usual chatter. Impossible? Think again. Because for 2 days now, I am speechless. Before you shout your OMGs and hallelujahs, my silence is not because of a changed outlook in life but because of an annoying nuisance called 'singaw'.

Honestly, it's killing me--not being able to talk. because aside from being a hobby, talking is my main source of communication. Everyone puts into words what they want to say and you respond. easy as that. BUt because of this wickedly painful mouth sore, I am reduced from being an active part in a conversation to be being a bystander, looking in on the exchange of ideas happening. And it's killing me!

My mouth sore is conveniently located right smack on the side of my tongue where my teeth and braces are most protruded. So rest assured that I will always keep my mouth closed for the utter fear that I will accidentally bite my tongue and make my sore worse...

Grrr...What a week!

The Horror Story Continues...

2006-07-31T16:51:00.000+08:00

This week, our group has planned to finish 3 case studies for our IMC class because it'll be our report next week and we want our account to be ultra fabbo! It's Monday and i'm in geekmode right now. I got panic-stricken so I passed up a trip to the mall to watch a movie with my classmates to do the strat of our case studies. Well, not brag or anything. I already finished one so I guess that entitles me to a break time of at least 30 minutes. Haha.

I just realized how much i've changed over the months (or years, if your being super observant). I'm not as vain as I used to be. I guess i'm more comfortable with myself now. That, or I don't pay attention because of everything else that's been going on.

Hmmm...one thing hasn't changed, though. I'm still a TV-holic! Unfortunately, I can't sustain my addiction since our Television broke down. It just shut off and it won't turn on again. boo-hoo..poor me! No One Tree Hill tomorrow night, then.

Ick.

The (Great) Change

2006-07-28T04:49:00.000+08:00

Okay, so I know that I haven't been actively pouring out my thoughts into this cyber-garbage-thought-page but i'm here now. It's 4.52 am, i'm at my friend's house and i've been awake for approximately 20 hours. Why? IMC.

Integrated Marketing Communication.

Hard.

Zombie.

Burnt Out.

Need I say more? We're all in a panic, 2 case studies per week, plus reporting. INSANE, right? Well, as they say, CA people are really insane.

Oh my gosh! I just realized for the nth time that i'll be graduating (God willing) this March! Wow! Has it really been 4 years already? I can still remember my first days in the university--well, not really. I'm not really good at remembering stuff. What i'm saying is that I didn't realize that 4 years have gone by so quickly. Where have they gone? Oh wait, I see those 4 years! They're in my waistline! Silly me! Haha!

It's funny, no? Time really flies when you're having fun. Why doesn't time fly when we're bored? Like during thisexcrutiating class I have with a professor whose name could be used by a sexy starlet. Ick...thinking about her sets me back a bazillion years.

Which reminds me, I haven't got a clue on what to do after graduation. I already have a goal: to leave the ocuntry within 2 years. How to do that is completely beyond me. Any ideas? Hmmm... Is anything of interest happening to me lately? As usual, nope. DOn't worry, i'm sure i'll be able to share ToNS of crazy stories soon. Stress is beginning to creep into our systems and we'll go insane sooner or later. In the meantime, I think I have to go get some shut-eye...or not. It depends. :D Ciao!

summer blues

2006-04-20T21:29:00.000+08:00

it's sooooooo hot! i can't even move without sweating like a pig. grrr....

In more important matters, i totally think that Kellie Pickler should be booted out of AMerican Idol NOW! Hehe. After her total mishap on the show, she wasn't even in the bottom 3. Now, i dislike Ace Young and his boyband-ish voice and I think that he should've been voted off last week but this week, he was actually decent (except for the ponytail part). Pickler, on the other hand, was right about one thing: she butchered the song!

She maed me laugh with her comment : "When all else fails, you better have great shoes". Yep, I laughed...and not in a good way.

It's not like anyone reads my blog or anything...I don't even post as much as I used to but I was very surprised to see awful tags on the tagboard with sexual content with MY name on it. very unappealing! I deleted them already (duh?!) and I hope it won't happen again. Or if it does, make sure it sounds like me. I don't talk like a skank so....

That's it for this post. Gotta do the dihes. LoL!

a series of stupidly unfortunate events!

2006-03-10T14:30:00.000+08:00

i wanted to be a presenter for our adquest but it seems that i wouldn't be bale to since there's a 'family thing' that i couldn't get out of. my mom's being so weird about this but i'm used to my mom so nothing else is new, right?

our TV is broken since tuesday. yep. that means no one tree hill season 3, no american idol and no charmed. how unfortunate is that? i feel like i've been betrayed by my bestfriend (TV..haha!).

no internet as well...i'm constantly running out of prepaid internet and its driiving me up the wall. i'd take the TV over the internet anytime, though. just because i can go online at school...haha!

a stupid and unclear post. needed to clear ny head. i apologize.

2006-03-02T16:29:00.000+08:00

This post is sans-title because I couldn't decide on one. I'm just gonna ramble on and on and on about random and somewhat stupid/shallow stuff, okay? Please bear with me.

I think I might have a bit of a depression...Nothing seriously serious, just a few psycho moments when I feel super duper down and I get really irritated, my appetite comes and goes and I tend to sleep a LOT. I read that those were signs of depression but since it doesn't occur everyday (maybe 3 times a wekk or something, haha!), I figure it's nothing serious--yet. :P

Just don't ask me what i'm sad about.

American Idol stuff! :D Today, the guys will perform on the show and i'm expecting them to do better than the girls. Yesterday's show wasnt too good, no stand out performances, just interesting surprises. Melissa McGhee did better yesterday. She picked a good song for her, she had a bit more energy now and she did a good job. Ayla was a very surpprising person, indeed! She sang really good yesterday, more than I expected from her. I think she's really pretty and she can sing. Simon said that she probably works harder than anyone in the show and I think he's right. That's the reason why I think she belongs in the Top 6 girls. I'm getting abit scared by Paris. She reminds me so much of Fantasia (I don't really like her..haha!) and I feel that she's trying too hard to be grown up. I was blown away by her audition (the Billie Holiday song...whew!) but I can't seem to see the 'spark' in her anymore. Lisa is a really good vocalist and she looks good when she's not on the stage but when she's singing, sometimes I think she looks like a witch. Her eyebrows are way too pointy, I guess. But hey, she's good. I just love love love Mandissa and Katharine. No special performances from them last night but they weren't too horrible. I just hope they blow us away next week.

The casualty this week for the girls? Brenna (I hate her attitude! So cocky!) and Heather (sayang, she's pretty pa naman.)

No, I didn't forget to mention Kellie Pickler. I just don't have anything to say about her except that she was sooo cute when she said "calamari"...she's a natural sweetheart but I don't dig her voice that much. So yeah, I mentioned her after all.

Beauty and The Geek.

Of course, everyone knows the ending already (Delayed telecast! boo!)...

Brad went home already. I still think he's the hottest geek in the house but he looks too distant. I never saw him smile a genuine up-to-the-eyes smile. He gives small nods of recognition and pats on the back but no smiles... Too bad. I would've wanted to see him be more interactive with the others... But he's gone and God only knows where he is. LoL! Back to the life as a geek, maybe? Whatever.

Yeah....that's it. I know, I know, Boring as hell!

Fickle-Pickle!

2006-02-23T20:15:00.000+08:00

Exhibit A- I've had the biggest crush (bordering on obssession) with this guy that we'll hide under the name "J". I met him once during November 18th last year and I never got to see him again. Recently (Feb 16 but who's keeping track?), we got in contact with each other through e-mails and for a while, I was soooo ecstatic! Forever waiting for his e-mail, getting all giddy while reading, the whole enchalada! Then today, I announced that I don't like him anymore. Well, I still like him but not in that way anymore. It always happens to me that when I finally get into contact with the person I admire, I lose interest in them. Yikes.

Exhibit B- Okay, this is sooo shallow but it has to be said. Everyone knows that I love American Idol, right? Anyway, I wanted eye candy this season (to take the place of Constantine, of course! Haha!) and I got Ace Young. So he's not the best singer but he really is a looker. A regular pretty boy. Anyway, I thought I liked him but after watching earliers episode of A.I., I changed my mind. He reminds me a lot of Constantine--and not in a good way. My new ultimate favorite is Chris Daughtry but I still like Ace. Go figure. :P

Exhibit C- This layout is getting on my nerves! I want to change it but I can't seem to find the time to tweak it. I want something bright and cheery and more like me. Not that i'm not subdued and lady-like but i'm a rainbow and sunshine kind of girl, you know?

There you have it, 3 exhibits of my fickle mindedness...

A big wave to my dear friend Pepay whom I haven't sen in 8 years! 8 freaking years! I miss you, Pepay! :D

Tomorrow is an elimination episode of the show I love to hate. Hehe...Wonder who'll get cut. Vea predicted that the 6 girls who'll get in are: Kellie, Mandissa, Paris, Lisa, Katharine and Ayla. I forget her bets for the guys, though. I agree with her predictions for the top 6 girls but I kinda liked the o'donahue girl...the girl with the 'rocker-ish' edge? For the guys, I think it's going to be: Chris, Taylor (call me crazy but I like him! haha! looking for a father figure?!), Ace (too much pimping to NOT get in. Is Fox 'grooming' him to be the next AI hearthrob--after Constantine, of course!), Sway, and 2 others who I don't know... hehe... The girls are better than the guys at this point so I have a better idea about the girls. :D Okay, kissykissy bloggy! This ficklepickle is getting some sleep!

geek mode

2006-02-22T10:42:00.000+08:00

well, not quite. I may be in the quiet confines of our library (6th floor, in the serials section, if you must know *wink) but I haven't done anything academic today. I have thought about our adver project but 'thought about' is a very subjective word, don't you think. I've also "thought about" something--someone--somewhere and it's not even funny anymore. I'm a big bowl of weird mushy ickiness when it comes to topics like these, so lets not ruin the mood. :D

So, I'm thinking whether or not I would be going to our recollection, the most obvious answer is no but then again, I might change my mind. You know me, very fickle...And that word reminds me of Pickler...As in Kellie Pickler. Yep, of A.I. which will be shown thrice this week, Wednesday to Friday. I hope I remember to watch.

Wednesday is my major couch potato day. I'll be watching A.I., Beauty and the Geek (season 1--I like erika rumsey and brad hooker) and CSI. No research tomorrow but there's goingto be a class picture, then meeting with adver, then recording for radio production and then the actual radio production class...I better go home. Or not. I still can't decide.

sooo..

2006-02-21T18:56:00.000+08:00

hello....i'm in tralala-land! :D something really good is happening, a kind of mask that covers my reality. and its a nice distraction, although i know that i won't get anything out of these good events aside from a few kiligs and smiles. its just nice to somehow fool yourself into believing that maybe its a sign that things are gonna get better--that something you thought impossible happened so anything can happen. hmmm...i'm riding this wave of euphoria till it stops being exciting anymore.

ha! like that'll happen! :P

American Idol

2006-02-16T19:22:00.000+08:00

Okay, just finished watching American Idol and i'm sur ethat you guys know who's in the top 24. This is the time for me to act all smart and capable, i'll offer my two cents worth of insights about 8 of the contestants whom I remember. I think who i'm gonna mention will most probably be in the top 12. I can only hope.

Girls:

Kellie Pickler- She's kinda like Carrie Underwood. She seems like a sweetheart and she's been through a lot so... I remember her because she sang a Kelly Clarkson song for her audition. She looked different tonight, though. I originally thought that she looked pretty but she looked washed out tonight. Maybe it's the stress.

Paris Bennett- Totally blew me away with that Billie Holiday song. But i'm a bit concerned about her ability to sing pop. She sang "Emotion" during the group performance and it wasn't as mind-blowing as her audition. I hope it was jut a bad song choice as I really like her.

Lisa Tucker- She's sooooo pretty! And she can sing. Maybe Simon is right about her age, though. I can only hope that she proves Simon wrong.

Mandissa- Amazing! I love love love this girl! I hope she goes far!

Katharine McPhee- Loving her voice, her face adn the whole thing! Rooting for this chick all the way (i think).

Boys:

Taylor Hicks- He's so adorable! He's kinda weird, yeah, but he's different and that's why I like him. I bet he won't look like that for long, though. Simon will want to mold him into something more, um, common.

Sway Penala- Sooooo proud!

Ace Young- Definitely my new eye-candy. Haha! Not the bestest singer of the bunch but he's something to look at! I hope he makes it to the top 12. It'll make the competition more interesting...he's sooooo cute! Hehe.

Chris Daughtry-Me likey Chris! Me likey Chris! Me likey Chris!

I was kinda sad that garet the cowboy guy went home. didnt like his voice at all but he seems like a good kid. was a little teary eyed with yesterdays episode..haha! and disappointed that the ashlee simpson look-a-like sister got booted out. The group performance was the clincher...sayang. And whatever happened to mecca? she was interestingly different. sayang din.

....

2006-02-16T13:47:00.000+08:00

A classmate of ours has run away from home. No one knows where she is and it has created a big fuss. Yesterday (Febuary 15), Len, Pinky and I have been called to the guidance office to be told of the situation. I hope she goes home immediately and work out all the kinks in her life.

I have been told that perhaps we (len, pinx and me) triggered her leaving home. We booted her off our thesis team because she wasn't helping out at all. I still stand by my decision (our decision) to drop her off the group. I'm not apologetic about that. However, I really hope she comes back to her parents. They must be really worried.

American Idol later! I already know who's in the top 24 but yeah, i'm still gonna watch. Recaps later (or early tomorrow).

2 months already?

2006-02-15T14:06:00.000+08:00

I just blinked and its Febuary already! I can't believe it, two months into the year already. Geez, where has the time gone? Summer is fast approaching (so is my birthday, April 25th people! hehe) and it's almost time for us to do our OJTs. It's scary, considering that we'll only have one more year before we graduate and get shoved into the real world. I'm excited to be able to experience life out of the university but it'll be hella hard, i know. I have to take care of myself and prove to the whole wide world that I am worthy of something. Heh.

American Idol Season 5

...has started. I haven't seen anyone who strikes me as the next Idol but then again, they havent shown the top 24 yet. I'm rooting for the Chris guy and Taylor hicks, though. :) As for the girls, I really like Mandissa and Paris Bennet. They be coolbeans. Let's see. I promise to post what i think as the show goes on.

Valentines Day

...is finished. Didn't have a date, celebrated it by reading reading number 17 and 18 for our political dynamics class and not understanding most of it anyway. I didn't cringe this time. I think i'm finally starting to grow up. Or maybe i'm just way to busy to sulk and whine. It doesn't matter, i have my friends...and they love me every day of the year. They don't give me flowers or candy, though. Good thing i'm not fond of those things. ;)

New Layout

I'm working on a new layout for my bloggy-blog. It'll signal the end of my neglect for my precious space on the net. :) Hopefully, i finish soon. Will put it up ASAP. Don't hold your breath, though.

Ciao for now!

Happy New Year!

2005-12-31T21:22:00.000+08:00

yeah, yeah, i've been m.i.a. for the last month, i'm such a loser. i'm being all boring and weird, as usual, nothing really worth sharing. oh, aside from the fact that my class bombed as of the last jingle quest...kind of like the time when we bombed during the documentary thingy. But we had fun doing the jingles though. It's not that bad, being left out of the whole 'having-an-award' thing. Especially since i'm sharing that status with 20++ people. haha!

Work is, um, taking its toll on my sanity. I'm cranky and i've been a grinch this christmas and i'm being a super loser this new year. haha! i'm not sure if i should continue this job or not but i'm sticking with it for the meantime.

Well, all i wanted to say was Happy New Year and belated Merry Christmas!!!

I'll be back! I hope...

November 18, 2005---Unforgettable!

2005-11-20T17:26:00.000+08:00

I am still getting sporadic chills and shivers when i think about that date. It was undeniably the best time ever! I went with my best friend Merlynn, and my classmates Kae, Vea and Shobe to (faraway!) ATC to see the perfectly handsome Constantine Maroulis perform live! Sure, there were minor glitches but at the end of the day, all went home happy.

I got to meet COnstantine! Yep, i did! My good friend Ate Sharlene was my fairy godmother for that day and i am extremely grateful for her. Anyway, i got to speak to him a bit and it was soooo cool. Never got to touch him, though. Security was way too tough and i was too scared to do something that might anger them because they were everywhere! lol! But i had my moment with the COn-man and its all good! :) There was a moment during his performance when I raised our Betty poster at the right time and he looked directly at it and gave ME a little nod and a smile! Yayness!!! I swear, this man will go places! And i mean PLACES!!! Hopefully he comes back again to have a proper concert. I'll be there for sure!

First Day...

2005-10-28T20:26:00.000+08:00

I just got home from my first day of work. Aaack! I am officially a 'working girl'... (imagine that!). Anyway, I now work part-time at SM Sta. Mesa, i'm working for Sun Cellular. Hehe... The first day was very hectic as today is the start of the 3 day sale of SM...i picked such a weird day to start because it was like jumping head first in a pot of boiling water.. There was a time when i was talking to 4 people and i don't know who asked what question anymore. Good thing that the other employees are really nice--they help out A LOT! The biggest challenge was when a group of Chinese people came in and inquired. They didnt speak very good Filipino, their accents were so thick that i couldnt understand most of what they were sayingl. Good thing they did a lot of hand gestures so I caught on after a while.

I'm still not very efficient, I still have to turn to others for answers but I think I did a pretty good job for my first day. The only downside is that i have to remain standing most of the time...aack! :)

Finally

2005-10-13T18:35:00.000+08:00

Exams are over, everything's been said and done, and it's time to kick off our school shoes, snuggle up in bed and rest. Yep! We have already ended our first semester of our third year in university. You cannot believe how happy I am to go on sem break! This is probably the most tiring semester yet and i'm so glad it's over. No more adver presentations, no more EP hamster/experiments, no more Filipino recitations, no more TV Prod video editing, no more! But it makes me wonder: will the nest sem be harder? It seems that as time passes, everythngs getting more strenuous and hard...maybe next sem, we'll be tearing our hair out? Maybe...

But as of the moment, it's sem break! Classmates, we made it! Yipee!!!

What inspires you?

2005-10-07T22:17:00.000+08:00

for me it's music and movies. and ice cream...

go figure

a better post soon. i promise

ONE

2005-10-02T22:05:00.000+08:00

One Year

I barely noticed that i've been blogging for a year last sepetember 30th. I've spent one year pouring out most of my inner POV's on my little corner of the web. Speaking of one,

ONE thing I can't live without: My journal
ONE animal I want to keep as a pet: A samll snowy tiger
ONE blogger I just can't NOT read: Tiepee
ONE talent I would die to have: Dancing
ONE feature that I want to change: My nose
ONE impossible wish: To be super duper rich
ONE kind of person that I hate: USERS (tamaan ka na!)
ONE surprising thing about me: I'm not dumb *wink*

******

Almost the End...but not quite

The first semeste is almost ending. We only have one week of 'real classes' and after that, FINALS TIME!!! I"ve never been so excited about finals. This semester has been a real eye-opener, I have found out a lot of false friends, backstabbers and users...so sad. On the other hand, i have discovered a couple of real friends, people whom i never thought I would get along with...

Can't wait for sembreak!

....

2005-09-25T19:14:00.000+08:00

pagkatapos ng madaming away, puyat at pagmamadali, tapos na ang paghihirap ko/namin sa advertising! hindi man mataas ang nakuha naming grade ay masaya na rin ako dahil hindi na ko mangangarag gumawa ng media plan at ng kung ano man. Ngayon, pwede ko nang pagtuunan ng pansin ang ibang subject..at doon naman ako mangangarag. Pesteng Experimental Psychology yan! Pati na rin TV production...pati na rin Filipino. Ngayon ko lang na-realize na may iba pa pala akong subjects na kailangan ng pansin ko. Nakaka-frustrate kasi napabayaan ko yung iba kong subjects..puro na lang adver adver adver...pero may dalawang linggo pa ako para bumawi (kung makakabawi!). Sana, magkaroon ng milagro at maisalba ko ang sairili ko sa nakaambang na mga tres. malapit nang matapos ang isang sem at napakarami talagang nangyari sa akin. Nalaman ko kung sino ang mga tunay kong kaibigan at kung sino ang mga nagpapanggap lang, naging zebra ako, nawalan ako ng cellphone, nagpa-overnight ako ng tao dito sa bahay, nakarinig ako ng mga hindi magandang bagay tungkol sa kin, natuto akong magsabi ng 'hindi'...ano pa ba?

pero ang pinaka-memorable nagyon sem ay yung immersion. hindi man kami masyadong nakihalubilo sa mga ka-klase namin na nag-inuman pa eh naging masaya ang laguna trip namin. Pano, kasama ko ang 3 sa aking pinakatiwalang kaibigan at pagkatapos ng trip na iyon ay lalo akong nakumbinse kung sino ang dapat kong maging kaibigan ant kung sino ang hanggang smile smile na lang.

ayun lang..isang paalala nga pala: malapit na ang aking one year anniversary ng pagbo-blog. september 30 ata yun eh...yehey! wala lang

P.S.
Brain disengaged mode ako. Please forgive my weird tagalog. I think it's better if i stick to writing in English, don't you think?

PICTURE PICTURE
Wala lang... gusto ko lang i-post! Imemrsion pix! Yipee!

true friends

2005-09-15T17:57:00.000+08:00

i've found my true friends. you know, in life, there are friends and there are FRIENDS. unfortunately, in my life, i haven't been very lucky. except now, that is. after a lot of trial and error, i think i've found a couple of true friends whom i can trust my entire life to. its actually uncanny because the friends i'm referring to may or may not be the same people i hang out with.

conversation is very important to me. people who can hold meaningful and intelligent conversations rank high on my list of 'must haves' when it comes to friends. i don't want to come off as a needy bitch but that's the way things are. i'm sure ou can sympathize. i have found out that not all people who share a smile are your true friends. i have found out the hard way who my real friends are. i'm glad i did, though. if i hadn't i would probably still be pretending to smile and nod at people whom i don't particularly connect with. a blessing in disguise, i think.

only a few people can relate on this subject matter. i think it's because some people are luckier than others in terms of friendship, among other things. i'm not complaining because i believe that every pothole that one falls into has a secret treasure in it. :)

friends are really special and we all have to treat them well. friendships, no matter how strong, can be 'abolished' with negligence. and sometimes, sometimes, friendships are just not meant to work out.

i'd like to raise a(n imaginary) toast to all my true friends. glad to have you guys in my life.

revitalized

2005-09-03T21:19:00.000+08:00

advertising presentations are finally over...our group got a pretty decent graed, i'm just soooo happy that everything's over. i got to sleep earlier, after not being able to sleep for a couple of days. i'm sooooo revitalized although i'm still a bit sleepy...

oh, and one more thing...sorry to my classmates because i wasnt able to attend 'the party'...im, just too tired. i'll make it up to you next time!

amery the explorer

2005-08-13T09:11:00.000+08:00

everyone knows that me=big doofus when in comes to using public transport. but lo and behold, i have survived not one, not two but a LOT of instances wherein i had to go to commute by myself. and not just to/from any other place but i had to go to MAKATI alone!

first time was when liszt left without me because i was late...(sorry liszt!) i had to take the LRT and make my way through all the unknown road names and stuff. i was lucky because there were 3 wonderful people who helped me reach my destination. the second time was when we had to interview this person (short notice) and i had to (again) go there by myself. my dad knew an earier way for me to go there and it was relatively easy. i have a lot of commute stories to tell you but my favorite 'adventure' happened just last thursday (i forgot the date). it was my first time to commute home from makati ALONE and AFTER DARK! i got even more anxious/scared because the weather was B-A-D! the wind was blowing really hard and it kept on raining...so i decided to do something to soothe my nerves. the solution? talking. yep! i approached a lady and struck up a conversation with her. turns out that she's as friendly and as outgoing as i am. her name is kim, from up-d, just graduated last april and she also took up communication arts. we got to talk for quite a while and i honestly forgot about how anxious i was about my pending 'trip'. of course, we had to go our separate ways because she had to board a different bus.

on the bus, i sat beside this wonderful lady named lani, who (i think) sensed that i was a bit uncomfortable. (buses arent comfortable for me...) she started talking to me and well, the conversation took away my anxieties (again) and yeah, i made a(nother) new friend.

public transport and i, we have a love-hate relationship but even so, i learn a lot from these little adventures. and its another great excuse to meet new friends. and one can never have too many friends. so next time you commute alone, why not try to strike up a conversation? your seatmate might turn out to be your newest friend.

After a Million-Gazillion Years...

2005-07-29T22:19:00.000+08:00

I'm back. No, I still won't be posting as often as I used to, I'll be posting a few random (and totally weird) updates but nothing worth loking forward to. So lets see...what's been happening in my life? Hmmmm...

- Advertising is KILLING me! No social life (never had one in the first place, but still!), no more money (negative balance!) and a lot of fights! And we're still not progressing as fast as I want! Argh! I'll be sooo glad when this is all over.

- I'm broke! As in super duper mega over broke! (Like, what elese is new?)

- I have a strong urge to knock down a particular secretary/receptionist...Why? To be revealed soon.

- I read the 6th book of Harry Potter (thanks, VEA). It was good but it left me wanting more...MORE....MORE....bwahahahaha! (crazy ass bitch! aaack!)

- I'm still humming "take my Heart Back" and "Love will Show Us Everything" from If Only...so hung up!

- I miss singing out loud. Ever since class started and advertising hooked us up on a leash, I haven't been singing as much as I used to...and I often induce headaches as well as slight fever. And I also think i'm going bonkers...

- I want to go to the States and work there. As they say, thats where the opportunities are. But what kind of opportunities? Me? I don't care..just as long as I earn moolah, its enough!

Enough babble...I still have loads of advertising stuff to do! Aack! I need a hug

Eternally Grateful To Kage!!!

2005-07-19T10:46:00.000+08:00

I have been on a forced hiatus because of all our schoolwork but i'm taking a short break and post something because I was (ahem) forced. AFter all, i can't ignore a *tag*, right? Hehe...lame excuses! But i'm here now, right? A least i'm convinced with my own excuse.

Three names you go by:
1. amery
2. amz
3. jaymee (my nickname at home. long story)

Three screen names you have had:
1. ameryceliza (umm...my name?)
2. eternally innocent (feeling?)
3. bookgirl (when i used to write book reviews)

Three physical things you like about yourself:
1. my complexion
2. legs (hehe!)
3. my back

Three physical things you don't like about yourself:
1. my nose! (calling dra belo! heehee)
2. hips (that could belong to hagrid! sheesh)
3. my right hand (its from too much writing)

Three parts of your heritage:
1. Filipino
2. American
3. Spanish

Three things that scare you:
1. being helpless
2. not being able to reach my dreams and goals
3. flying ipis!

Three of your everyday essentials:
1. pen and paper ( i told you i write too much!)
2. lipbalm
3. comb

Three of your favorite musical artists:
1. Stevie Wonder
2. Barry Manilow
3. ummm...at a loss for other names!

Three of your favorite songs:
1. Weekend in New England
2. Love Will Show You Everything (from the last movie I watched "If Only")
3. Break Me (from the ex m2m girl. great guitar stuff! woohoo!)

Three things you want in a relationship:
1. trust
2. comfort
3. good conversation

Three lies and truths in no particular order:

LIES:
1. I am shy
2. I am indifferent
3. I don't get angry

TRUTHS:
1. I will forever be a frustrated dancer!
2. I love singing!
3. I wish to have loads of money to buy all the books I want to buy!

Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeals to you:
1. Eyes
2. That particular angle of the jaw thats not to harsh but not rounded either
3. hands

Three of your favorite hobbies:
1. reading
2. singing
3. daydreaming

Three things you want to do really badly now:
1. LOSE WEIGHT
2. have a day off!
3. jump off a cliff

Three careers you're considering/you've considered:
1. actress/singer (hehe)
2. psychologist
3. lawyer (a la elle woods)

Three places you want to go on vacation:
1. New york
2. Barcelona, Spain
3. Italy

Three kid's names you like:
1. Xander
2. Paige
3. Alexa

Three things you want to do before you die:
1. be rich!(?)
2. travel
3. sing onstage in front a large audience

Three ways that you are stereotypically a boy:
1. I can go for a day without combing my hair
2. I crack my knuckles (bad habit. must stop.)
3. I have more sneakers than 'proper' shoes

Three ways that you are stereotypically a girl:
1. I love window shopping
2. I am fickle minded
3. I hate sweating

Three celeb crushes:
1. Hayden Christensen
2. Owen Wilson (haha!)
3. Cookie Monster

THREE people I would like to see take this quiz
1. Kai
2. Vada
3. Rose

And While I'm Online...

I watched IF ONLY with my forever movie buddy, Merlyn and I am still reeling from the sadness/sweetness/tragedy of the movie. I hope you could watch it, if only for the two songs which are now the only two songs in my head. I'll be back soon...maybe by the end of the...year? haha! updates soon!!! I hope

2005-06-19T19:28:00.000+08:00

Settling In

I'm still in the process of getting used to our new schedule. Let me tell you, i'm not doing very well adjusting. Our classes start mostly at 3 pm and ends at 6 pm or 9 pm. I'm completely missing my siesta (afternoon naps) and of course, i don't get to watch the shows I enjoy watching (especially Knock First). On the up side, I get to watch the morning replay of CSI on AXN. I can't believe I'm still talking about TV shows when I'm supposed to be trying to be a better student (right, Grace?).

Subjects

On the subject of the new schoolyear, I have a bit something to say about our new subjects/ professors. Of course, these are just my preliminary opinions and they could change in a snap. We haven't really met all our professors so i'll be offering a brief description of the subject and the professor.

Literature. Under different circumstances, I would've loved a 3 hour Literature class but now, i'm having my doubts as to whether I am cut out for loooong discussions about classical literature. I mean, I like reading and I enjoy stories but 3 hours? Thats double our old schedule (1 1/2 hours). I hate to be mean but our teacher isn't very lively. She's okay..she knows what she's talking about and she's really knowledgable about the subject matter but thats hardly enough, is it? Let's see...

Scriptwriting. I think i'll love this subject. Although I already forgot how our prof looks like, I think i'll be attentive with everything he'll be saying since I really want to learn more about writing manuscripts...I have a lot more to learn so Im excited!

Filipino. SCARY! We're supposed to apply the Filipino language in different disciplines... He looks so strict but I think he'll be considerate. I honestly think I should study HARD! Maybe I'll start blogging in Filipino...My head hurts thinking about the volume of our readings. STUDY MODE ON for this subject.

Spanish. Again, under different circumstances, I would've loved a 3 hour language class. I have always had a penchant for learning new languages as my mom has done but this will be the first time that i'll actually have lessons. The professor is...um...lets just say that he's quite a character. He's old (I have nothing against old folks)...can I say *too* old? He told us a lot of stories and get this, he checked the attendance of 33 students for almost 3 hours! It would've been hilarious if we hadn't had the headaches from his looooong stories (about his life) and we would've laughed and shrugged it off if we hadn't had stiff neck from starining to look at him as he spoke to the students at the back of the room...

Advertising. This is going to be soooo much fun. I like the prof, and I think i'll like this subject. Never mind that its on a Saturday, a day supposedly for sleeping all day and surfing the net all day long...

More updates on our new life soon. =)

goodbye summer!

2005-06-10T13:44:00.000+08:00

I can't believe that it's time for me to say buh-bye to summer. I mean, it seems as though my vacation got productive during the end. Now, I don't have to worry about outings and mall days, intead, I have to worry about grades and subjects and what-not. One things for sure, though: I will take on this new season with as much enthusiasm as the previous one. :) We are, after all, talking about my future here.

And the 4th idol Is...

2005-05-26T10:02:00.000+08:00

Yep, the country girl sweetheart won. I would've wanted Bo Bice to win but I guess Carrie did her thing and America liked it. Oh well, congratulations to the Carrie fans. I'm sure a classmate of mine is soooooooo happy. :)

And now the end is near...

2005-05-25T21:25:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow, the 4th season of American Idol is drawing to a close. Will it be Bo Bice or Carrie Underwood? Hmmm... I will admit my bias when I say that Bo deserves to be the idol. But then again, i don't know whats gonna happen. I think that Carrie has a bigger than HUGE chance of winning since she has a LOT of fans and she's Simon's favorite but I really really like Bo. Oh well, whatever happens happens.

Oh, pahabol lang. Did you see Constantine earlier? That was the highlight of the whole episode, in my opinion! :) I hope I see more of him tomorrow (I'm sure i will).

The end of summer is near and I'm bound to start another year as a junior in college. I swear i'll have to do WAAAAAAYYYYY better this semester. In just 2 short years, i'll be a graduate and i'll be facing the mean, real world... sheesh!

Bored...Is this True?

2005-05-21T18:09:00.000+08:00

Televangelist

You are 0% Rational, 71% Extroverted, 28% Brutal, and 57% Arrogant.

As the Lord as my witness, I swear upon the good book that you are indeed the TELEVANGELIST! Characterized by extreme arrogance, self-assurance, and extroversion, you would make a very charismatic leader (or a very despotic one). On top of that, you are also more intuitive than rational, predisposing you to a more spiritual or emotional outlook on life. Thus, you are thoroughly irrational. You also tend to be rather gentle and considerate of others' feelings. Clearly, you would make the perfect televangelist. Emotional, extroverted, arrogant, and gentle, you annoy the hell out of people who have to listen to the feel-good, intuitive shit spewing from your mouth. Not only that, but people may look down on you as a self-centered asshat. So while you are gentle and genuinely care about others, it is quite clear that you still care about yourself MORE. Why is your personality flawed? Because you are too damned extroverted, emotional, and arrogant. So preach your irrational message, brotha-man! I assure you, no one will be listening!

To put it less negatively:

1. You are more INTUITIVE than rational.

2. You are more EXTROVERTED than introverted.

3. You are more GENTLE than brutal.

4. You are more ARROGANT than humble.

Compatibility:

Your exact opposite is the Spiteful Loner.

Other personalities you would probably get along with are the Hippie, the Starving Artist, and the Robot.

If you scored near fifty percent for a certain trait (42%-58%), you could very well go either way. For example, someone with 42% Extroversion is slightly leaning towards being an introvert, but is close enough to being an extrovert to be classified that way as well. Below is a list of the other personality types so that you can determine which other possible categories you may fill if you scored near fifty percent for certain traits.

The other personality types:

The Emo Kid: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Starving Artist: Intuitive, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Bitch-Slap: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Brute: Intuitive, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Hippie: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Televangelist: Intuitive, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Schoolyard Bully: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Class Clown: Intuitive, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Robot: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Haughty Intellectual: Rational, Introverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Spiteful Loner: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Sociopath: Rational, Introverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

The Hand-Raiser: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Humble.

The Braggart: Rational, Extroverted, Gentle, Arrogant.

The Capitalist Pig: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Humble.

The Smartass: Rational, Extroverted, Brutal, Arrogant.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 0% on Rationality
You scored higher than 69% on Extroversion
You scored higher than 25% on Brutality
You scored higher than 65% on Arrogance

Link: The Personality Defect Test written by saint_gasoline on OkCupid Free Online Dating

Nostalgia Due To The Heat

2005-05-17T18:06:00.000+08:00

These past few days have been soo freakin' hot! SO hot that I barely have the energy to get out of bed and face the day. Lying in bed, a lot of thoughts get into my head. Most of which, are related to my childhood. I remember being cooped up in our house because I was afraid to go out. I had friends and playmates but they'd go to our house always. When I went out, everybody made a big fuss because my face wasn't seen often in our neighborhood. I enjoyed quiet games of tea parties and dress up and dolls, I never was good in playing tag and other games which included running and jumping. Even then, I hated being sweaty. While my other playmates were drenched in sweat, I was in a neat, dry shirt with baby powder on my body. I tried to go out more often, play with the bigger, more active kids but it just didn't work. I was contented with my little dollies, playing oh-so-quietly in one corner. I guess I was a quiet kid and I think that I still am that quiet kid.

I think.

Interestingly Ironic

2005-05-17T12:56:00.000+08:00

Did you know that one member of the "BEACH Boys" died of drowning?

How ironic is that? I'd hate to think how his death would be if he were a part of Guns and Roses. Just thinking out loud. :P

Sizzling!

2005-05-16T16:09:00.000+08:00

Seize the day(s)

As I said before, I am swamped with family activities this week. Nothing fun or worth blogging about. Mostly dinner get-togethers and just chilling with the folks but you know what, I like hanging out with my family. I know a lot of you would rather chill out with friends and as much I love spending time with my friends, I guess I will always be a homebody at heart.

Blogs!

A friend of mine has finally decided to take the first step in overcoming her shyness. Visit her blog and read on. A lot of interesting posts there. Oh, and I'd like to welcome another friend to the blogging world. I know she has been working on her blog for quite some time and i'm glad its finally done. Welcome, Jona! =P

A VERY Summery Summer

2005-05-10T10:32:00.000+08:00

I'm afraid I won't have time to assess my summer vacation in the coming days/weeks so i'll go ahead and try to make sense of my summer vacation 2005. =)

Gimmicks, Outings, Etc.

In this aspect, i'm giving my vacation a 4 out of 10. Sure, I haven't been able to go out as often as I would've wanted to but I can't say that I've been imprisoned within our house's 4 walls either. I've had my share of mall days, family get togethers/(semi-disastrous) outing and parties (?!). I think that my summer vacations often see action towards the end. Sure enough, this coming weeks will be a bit events-laden with all the family activities and the upcoming trip (which, hopefully will pull through) with my friends. Wish me luck with that! :)

Productivity

I've been very productive this summer. I've reprised my role as an ever insomiac writer, I've had the chance to write to my hearts content and I am very happy with the results. Unfortunately, I haven't had much time (or energy) to sing as mucha s usual. Unlike the past summers when my relatives would often hold singing" get togethers just so we could annoy the shit out of the neighbors, this years unbelievable heat prevented us from frolicking and going out. Sayang. :) Although i'm hoping that when the school year finally comes around, I could annoy the hell out of my blockmates. Haha! Kidding!

Misc.

I've gotten to meet a lot of people this summer, I got to make new friends (c/o this blog) and I also got to reconnect with old friends. I've revamped my blog template to something more...um...mature(?!) and i'm happy with how it looks right now. I learned how to cook sinigang and pinakbet, i've baked yummy brownies and cookies for my mom and dad, I had a fun birtdhay celebration with my relatives and well, I could probably wish for a better summer but this summer ain't all that bad either.

Just a Thought...

2005-05-06T20:07:00.000+08:00

Whining. That's what they (my brother and dad) said I was doing when I watch American Idol. I whined when Anwar got booted off, I whined even louder when Constantine got booted off as well. Whining. That's me (as my dad and brother sees it).

Exhibit A: When my brother was watching this NBA game with some old team, he was pissed that his preferred team wasn't making the "right moves", the right offense, defense, whatever. I told him he was whining but noooooo. He was complaining.

Exhibit B: My dad was watching a replay of Charmed with me when he started pointing out that the show is complete crap. That the story line is weak, the characters weren't very inetersting. He said that he couldn't understand why I was watching that instead of watching some old show he likes. But he wasn't whining. he was criticizing.

Verdict: Boys and girls aren't that different after all. No matter what we call it (whining, complaining, criticizing, whatever!), we still get affected by seemingly shallow shows. At least thats one thing we have the same thing in common.

Jumbled Jumbly Jumbles

2005-05-02T10:53:00.000+08:00

I can't believe I forgot to thank the people who greeted me on my birthday. Of course, most of those people are from my class
and my old time friends and a couple of nice bloggers. :) So, before I forget (again), thank you for all the grettings. I did
have a happy birthday.

SUMMER SUNSHINE

Summer is my favorite time of the year since its the time when everybody's heading down to the beach, wearing flowery
clothes, showing off beautiful tanned bodies. Unfortunately, this summer has been the least productive one i've had in
quite a while. It's too hot to go out and everybody's too tamad to go out anyways so I'm always at home. The most exciting thing
i've done this summer is go to Laguna with my (not-so-close) relatives. We got a private pool and we just wallowed in the water
for around 7 hours. :) That was fun although I didn't really enjoy since I wasn't really close with those relatives.

We're currently planning a beach trip (Vea, Shobe, everybody else) for next week so that's something i'm looking forward to.
I've been dying to go the beach and Vea and Shobe seems like the PERFECT companions. I'm hoping that this trip will push
through because I need more activity during summer vacation. (especially since my only activity so far is watching american idol,
charmed, america's next top model...basically, i'm just watching everything on TV).

I'm expecting that my remaining weeks of my vacation would be filled with fun and excitement. If you have anything, tell me! I'm dying for something new! :)

Mad! Disappointed! Sad!

2005-04-28T13:58:00.000+08:00

Constantine Maroulis got booted off before Scott did. Where's the justice in that? I expected Constantine to get in the final 3 but he got booted off... I just cannot believe that he got sent home! It was just so unexpected! I had hoped that he'd go on further in the competition. True, he's not the BEST singer but he's definitely not the WORST either! I'm so disappointed and mad and sad.

Gawd! This is WRONG!!! I'm telling you, it's wrong!!!
Bye Constantine! It was good while it lasted! :)

I'm Back!

2005-04-16T17:38:00.000+08:00

It has been TOO long since I last posted something and I feel so bad that I kind of neglected my online nook. So anyway, nothing spectacular has been happening (so what else is new?) and I' keeping my fingers crossed for a fantastic summer ahead of me. So what now, you ask? Well, I'm just keeping a couple of ideas and thoughts up in my head that I need to let out.

Movies!!!

I watched 2 movies in the last few weeks with my family and I realized that I kind of missed going out with my parents. Aside from the fact that they have loads of moolah (kidding!), they're good conversationalists. We had quite a long conversation about MY life (it's not as bad as it seems, trust me). I watched "The Pacifier" with my mom and younger sister and "Hide and Seek" with my dad and little sister (again). Let me just say that Dakota Fanning freaked me out. She's a helluva great actress. Hide and Seek wasn't really as thrilling and as seamless as I expected but it was an okay movie. I kept on calling my dad 'Charlie' after that movie and he willingly goes beserk for us. I love my dad.

The Pacifier on the other hand was a good watch especially if you're not looking for an Oscar-worthy movie. It just made us feel good and it was only fitting that I watched it with my mom since it was about family and whatnot. Mom had a crush on the hunky Vin for a few days but now, she doesn't even remember his face. So like me!

Boredom...

I used to look forward to summer avcation because I felt so tired at school. Yeah, I'm having fun with my blockmates but nothing beats summer vacation, right? Well, now that summer vacation is actually here, I find myself wishing that school never ended. I miss seeing my friends, especially after I reconnected with a blockmate during the finals period. Now, i'm really looking forward to going back to school next school year but I have a feeling that i'll be longing for the sembreak just weeks into the semester. =) I never get satisfied, do I? =P

Idol Updates! (I love the show!)

Nikko and Nadia got booted off the show already. I got devastated when Nikko got eliminated. He's such a good singer and I think he could've done a great job in the coming weeks. Oh well... Bye bye Nikko. As for Nadia, I never really liked her as in liked her. Yeah, she has a potentially good voice but she just doesn't strike me as the idoltype, you know? And she's not really likeable. I just don't understand why Scott is still there! I'm expecting that he'll be the next one to go next week. Vonzelle is getting really good and i'm kinda liking her. Looks like Carrie has competition! :) And as always, I loved Constantine's performance. It was more of the stage presence than the voice, honestly but he can sing at the very least. So far, the only disappointing event was when Nikko got booted off but i'm hoping that everything will get into perspective these coming weeks. =)

I'll post something really soon. I just have to polish my "Ugly Duckling" analogy. Keep on checking back, everybody!

Rejoice! (No not the shampoo!)

2005-04-02T18:00:00.000+08:00

YIPEE!

Well, it was our clearance day earlier and i'm really happy to tell you that I passed all the subjects! Yipee!!! You know, I was a bit scared that I might fail a subject or two because of the really scary professors whom we thought were great at first but turned out to be nasty! So anyway, i'm in a rejoicing mood because it's summer, my birthday's coming up (April 25th...don't forget..=P) and i am carefree!!!

Oh...um...or not. See, I still have to decide if i'll take summer classes for this Phil Gov't and Constitution (PGC) or if I should just load it next sem. I really want to enjoy this vacation and i think i can deal with an extra subject next sem. Hello? How hard can it be? (Reassurement and opinions needed)

Birthday Blues

Hmmm..let's see. My 18th birthday is coming up, I haven't decided on what to do for my birthday and I'm having a bit of trouble accepting that i'm already legal. Hmmm...maybe if i get enough greetings and gifts, i might just forget all my anxieties about turning 18...Haha..kidding(mostly =P)

American Idol-itis

Yeah, I have that erm, disease (along with VEA, GRACE, TIEPEE and LEN) and i'm a proud victim of that. I'm glad that Mikalah got booted off, i'm glad that Jessica said buh-bye (sorry, i just don't dig her) and well, Lindsey...I don't remember her at all...

I'm on the side of Vea in thinking that Constantine rocks! :) BUT, I think that his charm is more powerful than his talent. I just hope that he picks the right songs to bring out his (ahem) talent. ANd he always keeps on staring at the camera in this weird way..like he's seducing everyone who's watching. Well, it kinda works (on me) but it gets annoying at times.

I think Carrie will go a looong way in the competition..

She's really pretty and she's got a great voice...of course, it doesn;t hurt that Simon seems to be on her side and on her side only...

Vonzell is okay...she could do better...MUCH better.

Nadia is good but she's clearly not a crowd favorite so she might say buh_bye soon...

As for Scott, i hate him. period. What's with the way he tilts his head up during elimination nights? I sooo don't want to see what's up his nose, thankyouverymuch! I hope he messes up. PLEASE mess up, Scott!

I'm glad Anthony took off his glasses...for some reason, he kinda reminds me of someone who gets beaten up by bullies. Yeah, he looks a bit weak but he's okay, i guess.

Bo Bice rocks! 'Nuff said

And finally, Anwar... I used to like him... Used to. As in past tense. Lately, his performances are a bit on the boring side... Okay, a LOT on the boring side. So there...

Did I forget anyone? Hmmm...I hope not. =)

The End

So, there...that's a pretty long post, huh? Well, i hope every one of us has a GREAT summer! and I hope i have a GREAT birthday and I hope I make the right decision about the whole PGC summer-or-next-sem thing. Soon!

It's Nearly Over...

2005-03-11T13:22:00.000+08:00

...the school year, that is.

I never really realized that i'm going to be in my THIRD year of college next year. I mean, i could still remember (vaguely) my first day in college...how time flies! But nonetheless, i'm looking forward to my final 2 years in the university. =) I can't wait to graduate!!!

ONCE ON THIS ISLAND

We finished our play already and it went well. Not perfect, but we didn't stink. We had it taped so i'll be reviewing it when i get the copy. Just the same, i'm very thankful thankful that we finished our play already. at least we don't have finals in ENglish...just 7 more subjects to go... wish me loads of luck. Especially in History...argh!!!

MOVIES

THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA...

The last movie i watched with LEN... I cried 30 minutes into the movie and well, i didn't stop until the lights went on in the cinema. I am admittedly a crybaby but i get especially emotional when i love the story. In this case, i sooo love the phantom of the opera! as in super duper love! i have memorized most of the songs of the musical and honestly, i'm wishing that i took up formal training when i was younger. I am still hung up on that movie! the only songs that i've been singing lately are those of 'once on this island' and 'the phantom of the opera', two musicals that are close to my heart...

I just love guys who can sing! wala lang...just a thought...

CONSTANTINE

I enjoyed watching this movie (I was with Len, AGAIN!). Aside from the fact that Keanu Reeves was cute, he really suits the part of john constantine... i mean, he can be a sappy boy-next-door type of guy and he can be the cigarette puffing, demon slaying dude...oh, and the GABRIEL's pants were soooo hot! I want them! =)

COming soon...

I'm really looking forward to watching loads of movies this summer...can anyone suggest good movies that're coming up? I have Miss Congeniality 2 on my list already...

PAHABOL...

my birthday is coming up!!!! Remember this date: 25th of April...don't forget to greet me...=)

Another Update...still about our play...

2005-02-28T18:11:00.000+08:00

VeaVoochie has posted some stills in her blog and she looks fantabulous! I, on th eother hand, do not look anything like my character: Erzulie. So earlier, my sister and I played around with make-up and I have achieved a better look for me...=) I also do not register well on camera because there are many flaws on my face..haha! I fugured that the webcam shots looks semi-good because its placed higher and it's kinda 'looking down' on me. I guess that counts for something, right? SO anyway, Dianne is contemplating on a re-shoot for the gods and the storytellers and the extras and stuff...I hope she pushes through with the plan...i'd really appreciate another chance on looking better in photographs which everyone could see... You want to compare? Just look.

A Thousand Hits

2005-02-22T20:10:00.000+08:00

Hello everybody. I know that i've been a bad blogger, not updating regularly...i apologize for that. If you just know how much work school is, you'd understand. But, i'm super excited that i've reached a thousand hits already. It's probably because blogging is soooo commercialized now. it seems that everybody's blogging nowadays. Nonetheless, i'm very thankful for everybody who keeps on reading my (oftentimes) gibberish.

ONCE ON THIS ISLAND....a 2CA1 Production...

We'll be presenting a musical play for our finals in English and we chose "Once on This Island". Has anyone seen this before? If so, please tell me and offer suggestions. VEA will be playing TiMoune, the lead character and I will play...ahem...Erzulie, the goddess of love. Yeah, yeah, i know i sound TOO excited...that's because I only got cast in this play because only a few of us could sing. If our professor made us do an ordinary play, i can bet my life that i won't even be considered for a small part... =) I'm not an assertive person and usually, I like to keep quiet and let others choose whom they want to choose even if I want to be chosen...you get it? I think it's a great opportunity (duh?!) and i'll do the best i can do... Our play date is on the 10th of March at the Rizal Conference Hall in the AB building in UST. WATCH us if you can and if you do decide to watch us, cheer for us. I really think our professor would give us a higher grade if other people would appreciate our play. Just pretend you don't know us... =)

Tired as hell...

2005-02-13T17:12:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry for the lack of updates! (Russ, this one is especially for you...*wink*)

Basically, we've been up to our eyebrows in schoolwork and stuff. FOr example, we have to come up with a musical play by march 10. It will be credited as our finals in ENglish. We've known about this since the first day of the second sem but we didn't act on it until last week. As usual, we're cramming...=)

Our NSTP trips to Tarlac has been draining the life out of me! I have to wake up early on sundays to get on a bus, drive 4 hours to tarlac, teach for 3 hours then have another 4 hour drive back to the city AND THEN study for Monday's stuff. I'm quite dizzy since I just got home from Tarlac and th travel time is much much more tiring than the actual teaching activity. I'll be posting pictures soon... =) Promise.

I'll tell you more soon...but right now, I really need to get some shut-eye. =) This is just to make you guys know that i'm still alive and kicking.

Ramblings of a Crazy Soul

2005-02-02T11:58:00.000+08:00

*Life...oh life!*

It's funny how life works (assuming that it DOES work, of course). One day you're flying high with the eagles, the next day you're rubbing elbows with the earthworms. It's a viscous cycle, life: a series of ups, downs, lefts, rights and all the loopy-goopy rollercoaster mumbo-jumbo there is. It's senseless but full of meaning. It's a complicated thing but nithing else could be quite as simple. You live. That's that. But behind living is a whole metropolis of needs, wants, morals, ideologies, questions, answers, rants and raves.

I want to crack the mystery of life: what makes it so fulfilling, what makes it so addicting, what makes it so...lively. Unfortunately, life is doing a better job of cracking me open than i am to life.

*Sighs and Sniffles*

Crying is so liberating, don't you think? The deeds left undone and the words left unsaid melt into our tears and flow down out of our system, leaving behind only traces of it. Sure, it may take a lot of tears to totally erase the pain but when the tears don't flopw anymore, the pain will subside shortly afterwards. No, i'm not talking about my lovelife (or lack thereof). I'm taking about crying in general, problems in general, healing in general. I have yet to heal and end my grief. Until then, my only companion are the hot, salty tears which i shed when everybody's asleep.

*COLOR*

On a much, much lighter note, i'm happy to say that my immediate academic worries are OVER!!! We finished our Rizal group project, I've already reported in Philippine History and English, took the make-up prelim exams in Stat, and took the quiz in P. History. Whew! What a hectic week! Even worse than the week before prelim exams. I've missed blogging so here i am, blogging my heart out. I'm back!!!

Longing For A Break..

2005-01-25T15:11:00.000+08:00

Summer's here!

Its almost that time of the year again! Can't you just feel the gradual rising of temperature signaling the oh-so-near season for hitting the beach? As much as i'm excited to visit the beach, i'm kind of bummed out because I have sumemr class. *Sigh* But I could still squeeze in trips to the beach...I WILL squeeze in beach trips! =) I'm actually getting my summer dresses out along with my trusty shades and oversized sun hat....i'm THAT excited! I'll see you at the beach!

Birthday Blues...

I used to be really excited about my 18th birthday. Used to as in past tense. If i could, i would postpone my birthday indefinitely. I guess the 'responsibilities' of being, uh, legal is finally catching up on me. That and the fact that i'll be in my junior year in college next year. Pretty soon, i'll be pushed out of the harsh world. Just like any other parents, my parents are counting on me to help up with our expenses being that i'm their oldest child. I dunno, when I think about working and trying to earn money and being all grown up, it scares me. Honestly, I can't see myself beyond college. I can't see myself working and being a 'career girl' no matter how hard i try (although I see myself as a señorita, being served on hand and foot..hahaha!). I'm just babbling here, trying to release my anxieties and my worries.

Besides, I still have 2 more years in school...That's plenty of time, right? RIGHT!

Prelims...shiver

2005-01-17T21:28:00.000+08:00

I am so shivering in my socks right now at the thought of preliminary exams. I've studied as best as I can but you know what? It doesn't feel as though it's enough. It's crazy, i tell you! Ever since that friggin' Theology exam (which i worked so hard for!), I feel as thoughi'm not doing a good enough job. I hate feeling like this! We have two exams tomorrow: Biology and Rizal

Biology

Hmm...it's supposed to be an easy subject seeing that we took it up already during sophomore highschool. Unfortunately, I didn't get to absorb ANY of the lessons in Biology. Our task back then was to copy out from modules (sorry, angelicans!). So now, I have zero knowledge-- okay, scratch that--about 10% knowledge about the subject. I have to study really hard and excert more effort than my other classmates...BUMMER!

Rizal Course

Originally dubbed as "Rizal Curse", this subject has my undivided interest. Its fun learning about Rizal, how he was ike, how the Philippines was like, what they did and all that stuff. We always have lively discussions and interesting videos to watch. BUT (you should've know it was coming) when i tried to review for the subject, all the topics we had were vague, conversation-based stuff... Yeah, there were lectures but I don't think we'll be asked to enumerate the corrupt governor-generals back in RIzal's time (but i kinda memorized it, just in case...haha!)...So what am i supposed to study? hmmm...your guess is as good as mine... =D

Other stuff...

Since logs was asking me about a topic for a story, I decided to tell you about my newest 'baby'. I'm writing a new story right now...No, nobody's going to die (aww...shucks!) but definitely, it won't be a happily-ever-after type of story. Not to be pessimistic or anything but does happy endings still happen? Yeah, it does...to about 2% of the population... We have Disney if we want happy endings... =D So there...i'll let you know if i finish that story...Most probably, i'll get stuck doing the 15th chapter and forget the whole point. Haha! Let's hope not!

So to all those who are going to be taking their exams, GOODLUCK!!! Let's all hope we live through this...*fingers crossed*

Finally Friday

2005-01-14T13:25:00.000+08:00

The Layout...

i feel that i haven't changed a bit over the years. i feel that i'm the same giggly, twinkly-eyed girl i was back in elementary and highschool. if you can remember, i tried being a bit of a bad-ass girl but i couldn't hold up the charades for too long as it simply wasn't me. so i went back to being the same old amery: the one everybody used to push around, the one everyone used to ignore and disregarded.

i changed my layout from the really colorful "fairy-inspired" layout froma simple and no-fuss layout but again, it didn't feel right. i'm really optimistic by nature and well, i guess i can't change that. i'll always be more of a child than a lady, i'll always believe and miracles and i'll always wish for my own rainbow.

i guess i still am the same. but there's one thing that's different, though: i like who i am and i'm not going to change just because.

put some color in your life! :D

School induced headache...

it feels like the rat race is over...temporarily. i've never been so glad that it's a weekend! we had a super hectic week and frankly, i feel as though i'm ready to fall apart at the seams if i hear just one more "imprtant project". We had a lot of stuff to do, the worst was studying for our theology prelim exams (pages 3-158 in 2 friggin' days). I may have failed that exam but i can't say that i didn't do my best. i studied my ass off, i didn't sleep for more than 2 hours just to find out that even though i studied as hard as i can, i would still find myself clueless with the exam. i wanted to wring the neck of our professor but i stop myself at the last minute.

i also prepared for our oral exam in english, where we had to deliver a speech or an oratorical piece. normally, i wouldn't have any problem with activities like that since i thrive for the stage (k.s.p.), but for some stupid, weird reason, i had trouble memorizing my piece. of course, i decided to burn the midnight oil to make sure that i've memorized my would-be prelim exams in english. as fate would have it, i wasn't called on to deliver the speech today. i feel elated because it means that i could prepare for it longer but i feel annoyed as well. i would've wanted it to be over.

so 2 sleepless nights in a row and the result: nada!

how's that for a week?

it's all in my head...

2005-01-08T21:33:00.000+08:00

we resumed classes on the 3rd of january, and needless to say, i was still in my vacation mode (i still am!). althoughi really real really want to stay home nad sleep all day and videoke with my family, i know that i HAVE to go to school so i did with a heavy heart (haha!).

surprise! classes weren't so bad after all! i had fun catching up with my friends, listening to what they did during the holidays, and i enjoyed a couple of new lessons particularly in rizal and english... =D

i was bloghopping and saw this really honest post about college life (click here please). i really found her post interesting and it got me thinking that i really do enjoy university life even though i rant about it a lot!

i'll only say this once: even thoughi really wanted to study in ADMU, i'm glad i'm in UST. I met my friends who are the absolute best and i'm having fun as i learn (yes, i am learning a lot). and..don't spread this around but i really like the school colors (gold/yellow and black...hihi).

problem is, i have to memorize a speech and i haven't gotten to begin yet... haha! still, ust rocks my world (in more ways than one)

2005-01-06T21:41:00.000+08:00

Your Dominant Intelligence is Musical Intelligence

Every part of your life has a beat, and you're often tapping your fingers or toes.
You enjoy sounds of all types, but you also find sound can distract you at the wrong time.
You are probably a gifted musician of some sort - even if you haven't realized it.
Also a music lover, you tend to appreciate artists of all kinds.

You would make a great musician, disc jockey, singer, or composer.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

Yep, just a boring quiz result...trying to burn time...:) good evening...

happy new year everybody!

2004-12-31T21:00:00.000+08:00

i know this wan't the best of years. heck, it couldn't be farther from a good year but it's over now and we're facing a brand spankin' new year.

a new year to make mistakes and correct them, a new year to learn and un-learn, a new year to laugh and to cry. no matter if tears outrun the smiles, don't ever be afraid to try to smile. because smiles are contagious and smiles keep us going.

a prosperous and hassle-free new year for all of us guys!

scrooge-ing this christmas eve

2004-12-24T10:11:00.000+08:00

bah hambug!
there's nothing i hate more than pretending to be all happy and merry this blessed time of the year. its not that we're unhappy, it's just that we're not exactly having the best christmas and we certainly don't need THEM to rub it in our faces. "THEM" being my least favorite relatives...which is ironic since they're our remaining relatives here in the country. on any other occassion, i would've loved a visit from them but not this christmas. i can't bear to be the wide-smiled hostess and assure them that in spite of the major changes in our lives (trust me, its not for the better), we're okay. in fact, i'm having trouble convincing MYSELF that we'll be fine.

i'm being a bit harsh on them. i don't hate them. i actually like their company and it's fun whenever they're around. i just don't understand why we have to PROVE that we're good (especially when we're on the brink of being bad...haha).

i don't mind the early "call-time" to start our long, tedious attempt at making our tiny house look festive and bright. i don't mind working my ass off to scrub every inch of this damned apartment (pardon my language). i don't even mind smiling widely when they finally barge in our doors, with their maids and huge christmas gifts. what i'm wary about is the fact that i have to appear confident. i'm a good actress but sometimes, i crack under the piercing glare of everybidy. its as if they're waiting for me to break down and confess that i'm having a hard time (i might just do that).

by far, this is the loneliest christmas of my life. of course, i haven't told anyone this (i probably shouldn't have mentioned this here...). selling our house was really heartbreaking and moving in this tiny apartment is worse... words aren't exchanged regarding our, uh, situation but i know that its bad. i knew it since the day i was given just enough money to commute to and from school.

i'm not going to lament here because its christmas. i'll keep it in for another few days and by then, i would be too embarrassed to tell you more.

i have my little gratitude list, though. i am grateful that my family is still intact. i am grateful that every one of us is healthy and that everyone is emotionally okay. i still love christmas...just not this christmas eve...=D (and my hair doesn't do me any good, either)

i assure you that i'll be bright and cheery and christmas-y tomorrow...

2004-12-20T18:31:00.000+08:00

This is for LEN...

I kinda don't like my hair...i don't find it hideous but i don't like it all that much..

Merry Christmas!!!

2004-12-19T13:11:00.000+08:00

I still haven't gotten over my "writer's slump" but I'm optimistic about the whole situation adn I know that it would pass soon enough...I'm raving about Christmas! I feel so christmas-y because of all the decorations, and of course, the christmas carols. I think that the songs are the best things about the season (except the food of course). I feel as though I'll gain a WHOLE lot of weight during our 2 week vacation. As if I needed MORE weight, right? haha!

I got my hair cut earlier. I was with Pao, my bestfriend and as usual, he told the stylist what HE wanted for MY hair...weird no? SO anyways, it's really short (my hair) and it's not that i don't like it...its just that I kinda wanted it longer...it honestly makes my face looks 10x bigger...as if I needed an even bigger face?! But it'll grow back soon enough and when it does, I'm sticking to my word and i'll never ask Pao to go with me to the parlor again...even if it means paying off the salon by myself....=D

...and i thought i could write

2004-12-04T09:49:00.000+08:00

i used to be able to express myself freely and easily through writing. i used to be a great writer. i used to be admired because of my command of the language. i honestly thought i was born to write but now, i'm thinking i just fooled myself and everybody else into thinking that.

i can't write!

i come up with ideas, good ideas at that but when i start to write them down on paper, they seem to turn into garbage. i've finished but one composition in a month. and to think i won best essay in a competition.
the one thing i used to rely on is the thing that's failing me now. maybe its just a phase, a block of some sort but maybe, its permanent. or maybe it just wasn't there.

i used to have a couple compositions in a week time. i used to be able to breathe out my emotions on paper. i used to think i was special...guess i'm not.

no classes...chilly weather...and a cup of hot chocolate

2004-12-02T11:46:00.000+08:00

there's a storm brewing and all are inside their homes, wearing jackets and watching tv. classes have been suspended and my sister is sooo happy that she refused to go back to sleep, opting to make most of her impromptu free time by watching cartoons at 6:00 a.m. and my brother is probably on the way back to manila, his retreat cut short because of the storm.

it might be a joyous occasion for most of us, having classes suspended and having the chance to lay around and be idle but the moment you turn on the news, you see the other side of the coin. it's really sad that there are a lot of families who doesn't have their houses anymore because of the strong winds and rain, its awful to think that they're in some evacuation area, with no extra clothes, the children shivering and hungry...

makes me thankful that i am safe here in our apartment, cramped as it may be, with my family. although i often complain and rant about the things i don't have, i still am grateful for what i DO have.

so there.
while sipping my hot chocolate and thinking of the storm, i say a quiet prayer thanking the heavens for everything i have...

Sorry...this is too hard

2004-11-28T22:50:00.000+08:00

I've realized one thing: I can't be bad! I just can't!
I can't stand it when people are mad at me regardless of how pissed off I am at them.
I can't stand it when I know that I could've just swallowed my anger and shut up like I always do.

I guess I am and always will be a goody-two shoes.
I guess it's my plight: suffer and smile! =D
I guess that's it...

Ms. Nice Girl, no more(?)

2004-11-24T15:09:00.000+08:00

For my classmates, you guys know of my (ahem) hardships with an unwanted companion, right? Lately, i've been the target of yet another kaasar encounter with the laitera person whom I once considered my friend (clue: same person who told me I had zero social life). I arranged a get-together between me and a couple of my highschool friends. As usual, her radar picked up our plans and she invited herself. I was really trying my best to to ignore her but I guess I didn't do a good job (or she's just sooo kapal!) but somehow, she launched into her "LAIT MODE" and the target: Amery Celiza P. Acedo. She started with her usual "I-have-a-boyfriend-who-adores-e-and-you-have-NO-ONE" crap which frankly, is getting old FAST! It didn't affect me as much as before but when she usues that with her other statements (weight issues, etc.), I can't help but to get miffed. I really tried to smile and just ignore her but it's hard...

I'm not the type of person who'll lash out harsh comments for revenge nor am I the kind of person who'd take down every offense against me. I forgive fairly easily but I don't forget. As much as possible, I avoid sticky situations and I avoid harboring ill feeling towards another person. I love peace and harmony but obviously can't keep on taking crap forever!

Shobe and Vea told me to shed off the goody two shoes attitude and bite back...I think its about time I do too. What do you think?!

Hmmmm...

2004-11-16T19:27:00.000+08:00

Hey there! I hope you're feeling better than I am. I am currently experience one of my (in)famous "off days". I feel so useless, so cooped up, so plain, so blah! I wanted to go home even before classes started but I also wanted to go to the parlor, get all prettied up. The fdirst option sounded better, though. I don't have the budget for the second option...
This morning was really dull...as always. For breakfast, we had pancakes but guess what? No maple syrup. I ate plain pancakes without syrup. How blah! Then, on my way to school, I felt like all the city's vehicles blasted its smoke on me. I arrived in school smelling like a freaking barbecue!!! Subjects rolled by s-l-o-w-l-y and I sooooo wanted to go to sleep but you and I both know that i'd be in big trouble if I did, right? So I fought a hard battle against boredom and I partially succeeded. My mind flew to places far and perfect and I'm longing to go to those places. I want to see the most perfect beaches, see the most spectacular winter sights...
I can go on and on about how I want to do this and that but i'd rather not.
So anyway, I'm soooo tired now. I guess a good end to a bad day is peaceful, undisturbed slumber. After all, maybe nature'll do me a favor and not wake me up. Haha!
Kidding!
(Although we all know that jokes are half meant...*wink*)

COOKIES!!!

2004-11-06T13:38:00.000+08:00

We spent the morning baking wonderful goodies and well, I'm really proud of the results. Hmmm...The cookies turned out sooo great! They're sooo yummy...not too sweet, not too crumbly, not too anything. They're like a taste of heaven in every bite! I sound like an endorser don't I? I'm just sooo proud of myself adn I really think everyone should taste our cookies! Maybe I'll sell 'em but maybe I'll just give'em away... haha!

here are the cookies!

The Break Is Almost Ending...

2004-11-03T18:53:00.000+08:00

I thought that the break would be long and boring. Boy was I wrong! We'll be going back to our beloved university on Friday. I'll be seeing my friends again, and we'll be starting another grueling and brain busting semester. I'm personally shivering at the thought of our Rizal course wherein the professor might be the same one who failed me (along with a lot more in our class) in PGC. Also, we might also be dealing with our absentee professor for our stat subject. My goodness, vacations should be made longer! Traumatic experiences lasts for a very long time and 3 weeks just isn't enough to recover. On the brighter side of things, I'll be receiving my allowance again, I'll get to watch movies after our classes again, and of course (I can't put enough stress on this) I'll finally see my really great friends whom I've missed so much! I'm mentally perparing myself for the weird professors, confusing subject matters and all the small nitty-gritty which could affect my (ahem) academic life. I'm planning to put a little more hard work for this semester. I'll be jotting down more noets and listening to professors. Of course, I won't stop going out after classes, I won't stop being madaldal and I won't stop being a bit pasaway...If I stop, they'll miss the old me! I won't be me without my quirky, weird side! Again, I'll be looking for a crush this sem (i've failed the last 3 sems!) and hopefully, my new crush won't be gay! I've been through so much this break...from divisoria trips and pasig overnight stays and baking and of course, i've had my share of disastrous trips... We went to Batangas for a supposedly relaxing trip but we had sooo much mishaps that we just turned around after a couple of hours and went home...I won't go into detials because I want to remember the good memories and foget the bad ones...Anyway, I'll be saying goodbye to the break, goodbye to my late night TV watching, goodbye to my all day blog hopping, my lazy lounging days and say hello to another challenging and problematic (hopefully not so) semester...

these past few days...

2004-10-29T18:39:00.000+08:00

The REAL Divisoria: Painful!

We've been terribly busy since the other day. My aunt is staying at our house again so we have to prepare loads of "lakads" so she won't be bored (plus, my Lola has been acting up lately). So we decided that we all need an exercise so my mom thought it would be nice to go to the park to stretch our stagnant muscles...my aunt didn't bring her "sporty stuff" so we went (yet again) to Divisoria...this time, we went to the heart of the markets instead of going to the Tutuban Mall...I've never seen so many people in my entire life! People were walking with a purpose and for neophytes like us, we were pushed around a lot! and I mean a LOT! I came home with bruises (more on that later). So we were walking along the streets right? We saw this stall with loads of super super cute shoes so we just had to stop and take a look adn maybe try some things on... My mom was supposed to buy this ridiculously cheap pair of high-heeled sandals when the vendor started to panic. Turns out that he was a "sidewalk vendor" and that the police were doing their rounds to confiscate and take in such vendors. Since my mom didn't have lower denomination bills, the vendor gave her the sandals for 100 pesos...haha! I feel so bad for the vendor but still, that is a great deal!
After around 2 hours of being pushed around outside, we finally gave up and headed towards the mall...which wasn't as worse as the street market but at least it was air conditioned...
I had my mom (heehee) buy me a pair of uber cheap pants(200) and around 3 blouses (one of which i will have to share with my sister). We went home very tired, our arms were almost falling off from the 9 shopping bags we bought, and we got confused where we should ride a jeep so we ended up riding the wrong one (we ended up in la loma, q.c) and we took a cab. When we finally got home, I wasn't at all shocked to find bruises all over my body...I even have a HUGE bruise on my thigh (I don't know how that got there). My mom freaked out and she told me she'll never take me to DIvisoria again...awww...

Exercise sucks!

So we all had our exercise gear right? We went to the park at 7:00 a.m. and stayed there yntil 10:00 a.m. Let me just say that I HATE sweat! Even though I wasn't really doing anything, the heat was enough to make me sweat. I finally decided to join in on the game (badminton) since I was so bored just sitting there and taking pictures (of myself..heehee). I went home bruised again (surprise!). I just hate bruises! They freakin hurt and they freakin don't look good!!! I was tired and sweaty and I hated those freaking bruises!!! My mom freaked out (yet again) and told me to exercise more often (i was hoping she'd say the opposite,actuallY). I have a terrible headache now and I soooo want to take medicine but if my mom finds out about my headache, she'll freak out again and she won't allow me to go out tomorrow...=( so there...that has been my last couple of days...=D

Song Dilemma

2004-10-26T16:00:00.000+08:00

I've been singing practically the same old songs for a couple of days now. It's a bad case of LSS (last song syndrome) that even I'm getting annoyed as well. To top it all off, I've been requested to sing for a friend's debut and I have not a clue what to sing. All the songs i've been singing doesn't seem to be right for the occassion. What do you think? What songs can I sing? Help...=D thanky

A Certified Angel

2004-10-26T12:59:00.000+08:00

Well what do you know? I have angelic wings... I guess I have always known it (ehem)...heehee...Just trippin'

You are one of the few out there whose wings are
truly ANGELIC. Selfless, powerful, and
divine, you are one blessed with a certain
cosmic grace. You are unequalled in
peacefulness, love, and beauty. As a Being of
Light your wings are massive and a soft white
or silver. Countless feathers grace them and
radiate the light within you for all the world
to see. You are a defender, protector, and
caretaker. Comforter of the weak and forgiver
of the wrong, chances are you are taken
advantage of once in awhile, maybe quite often.
But your innocence and wisdom sees the good in
everyone and so this mistreatment does not make
you colder. Merciful to the extreme, you will
try to help misguided souls find themselves and
peace. However not all Angelics allow
themselves to be gotten the better of - the
Seraphim for example will be driven to fighting
for the sake of Justice and protection of those
less powerful. Congratulations - and don't ever
change - the world needs more people like you.

Image Copyright Sheila Wolk (prints available
through treefreegreetings.com) - words added by
myself.

*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla

sighs and boring days...

2004-10-25T16:28:00.000+08:00

I can't wait for my brother's exams to be over so we can go out of town. We have 2 options: either we go to Batangas or we go to Baguio. I honestly want to go to Batangas but since it'll be just me and my family, I don't think I would have that much fun at the beach. Don't get me wrong, I loooove my family. Its just that I usually like being with people my age...let's face it, my mom SURELY won't let me wear my new bathing suit right? she won't let me stay up all night, she won't allow me to stay on the beach all day..so I want to save myself (and my mom) from another family feud round...heehee...

Besides, I haven't been to Baguio yet ( for the nth time). So I think it's about time I did. So there...what to do what to do? I think I'll just leave the decision making to them noh? Ta's if things go wrong, I can blame them heehee...

addicted...

2004-10-24T22:04:00.000+08:00

I'm such an inyternet addict! I consumed 20 hours in 3 days! Good thing that classes start next week...at least I won't spend as much time in front of the computer as I am now. I have been reading countless posts on the bulletin board, blog hopping and playing neogames. So now, I spent my precious savings to buy another internet card. Sheesh!

On another topic, I have full week planned ahead of me. We're going to Batangas (again) and hopefully, I don't forget to bring my camera! =D

So there...I know this is such a short and meaningless post but I just had to write down something. I don't Vea thinking that I'm dead..heehee

So there...Till the next (meaningful) post!

Tiepee..i'L give you chocolates for your graduation...=D

Cheesy Moments...shudder!

2004-10-23T11:01:00.000+08:00

So far, today has been an annoying day...no, nothing bad happened, there hasn't been any accidents, and i haven't fallen off my bed again...(heehee). It's just that as soon as I opened my eyes, I just felt like being cheesy. I'm llistening to mushy songs right now and i'm craving for strawberry ice cream and a bit of chocolate (i don't usually like chocolates). What's worse is that I don't have any idea why I'm like this? It could be because of a dream but I can't remember the dream I had last night, it could be because of something I read but I read Taltos last night ...hmmm...

Sheesh!

I'm a big cheeseball this fine saturday morning...We have only one more week of vacation and my mom finally said that we would be going to the beach! I haven't been to the beach and i'm certainly looking forward to that.

Maybe I could invite a couple of friends as well...whatcha think?

So there...I'm still cheesy but i'm hoping that i'll get out of this phase as the day goes on...

Have a great day everyone!

Enjoy the sem break!

Tribute To My Friends...

2004-10-20T20:19:00.000+08:00

It's so nice to have friends who'll stick by you through thick and thin. It's nice when you know you have someone to depend on and speak with when problems arise. Well, I'm lucky I have friends who are ready to knock sense into me (by force if necessary...LoLz), who are ready to lend me a shoulder when I feel like crying and to offer me support when I feel like giving up. I met my most wonderful and dependable friends in college.. not that my elementary and highschool friends aren't like that but since my present friends know exactly what I feel when I feel it, they can comfort me when I need comforting...getz?!

My elem/highschool friends are equally special to me. Whenever I think of them, they remind me of the times when we can freely roam around after classes and gossip amongst ourselves and be kids. They remind me that I can still be child-like while in college. They remind me that I am a kid and I am appreciated as me-- a kid.

It's nice to see friends whom I haven't been in contact with for a very long time...It's even nicer to hear their voice and know that they still remember li'l ol' me.

Friends are often taken for granted and I must admit that I do disregard them and I don't give them the attention and acknowledgement they deserve...sorry bout that. =D

I know it's better to say this in person but this is a start...

Thank you for always being there when I need you guys.

Thank you for never givingup on me.

Thank you for always making me laugh.

Thank you for making me dream.

Thank you for bringing me back to reality.

Thanks for the jokes.

Thanks for the advice.

Thanks for the constant reminders.

Thanks for supporting me...

Just thanks...for being there.

From my YM buddies who are constantly online and knows a lot about me, to my already abroad friends who take time e-mailing me, to my blockmates who are ever so supportive, to my highschool friends from LCC who always make me smile, to the angelicum people who are a big part of my life to my long-lost friends whom I have found again...Thank you...

******************************

Drama?!

I feel blessed, that's all...

Thank you

Yay!!!

2004-10-20T17:27:00.000+08:00

I have had a very wonderful day today...
No I haven't found a wad of bills lying around
No I haven't met a really cute guy (shux!)
And I certainly haven't lost 10 lbs overnight...It's even better
I passed everysubject this semester!
Don't roll your eyes okay...I just thought that I would see at least one failed mark on my clearance sheet.
But I didn't and thank God for it.

So we went to SM North Edsa (babaw!) and watched a movie...I was with Kate, Len, Celine and Denise. We watched this Korean horror flick: The Doll Master.
It was about dolls who get souls and stuff...It really freaked me out because I had thrown away loads of dolls when I was younger and the movie suggested that dolls could get souls and seek revenge if they wanted to...
Honestly, I kept on covering my face while inside the theatre...Len was laughing at me the whole time...
I;m kinda scared of going to bed tonight...Hehe...but if ever I get an unexpected visit from an angry ex-favorite doll, i know how to kill it...
"poke the eyes and detach the head" easy huh? Hehe...
I feel so silly getting afraid...of a...stupid...make-believe...movie...
But still...I think i'LL sleep with the lights on tonight...

Ranting Mode...Ouch

2004-10-19T12:35:00.000+08:00

Got up on the wrong side if the bed this morning..uh...afternoon. I don't see how anyone could be in a good mood after falling off the bed. Yep, I fell off the freakin' bed and my body's achin' (well, duh?). My mom came rushing in my rooms after she heard a crash and when she saw me on the floor, she LAUGHED and worse, she even called my Dad and they laughed at me together... They never even bothered helping me up. Their humor puzzles me sometimes. I get my Dad because he's really weird and I'm used to his wacky ways but my mom really baffles me. She's not the type who laughs a lot...heck she doesn't take jokes very well especially when its on her. But on certain days (days like this, for instance) she cracks up and starts laughing out loud. Sheesh! She just exploded in laughter without asking me if I was hurt (I still am...ouch!) and kept on laughing for about 5 minutes after. Even before she stepped out of the house, she gave me a look and giggled. GIGGLED!!! She NEVER giggles!

Maybe I should feel flattered that I made my Mom laugh. At my expense but still...it counts for something right? Heehee...now that I think about it, I must've looked funny back there. My face all smushed against the floor...Where are the cameras when you need 'em?

I still remember a part of my dream though. It was weird. I remember walking along unfamiliar halls with a lot of students so I'm assuming I was in school (what school, though?). So there, I was fumbling along the hallways and I didn't know anyone so I kept my head down (unlikely!) and quietly(!) made my way in a room. The professor handed us each a jar of worms and told us to count 'em. Mine broke and wham! the next thing I knew, I was face down on the floor...

Sheesh! Something good better happen today! I soooo want ice cream!
I have a feeling that today's not my day...

Random Thoughts

2004-10-19T07:30:00.000+08:00

I've been thinking for quite a while and I have a lot of things on my mind that I don't know how to start writing about them in my blog. So I'll just list them down in no particular order (or sense) and just get them off my chest.

1. Why do people think that popular=better? I have this fiend who told me that she kinda felt sorry for me since I wasn't one of the a-crowd. This hasn't been the first time she said something about her (ehem) popularity and my lack thereof. I honestly don't have a problem about being low profile but the way she said it (with so much pride and all) made me feel....em...slightly rattled. (clue to my friends: she's the same person who told me that I was almost a social zero...lol!)

2. I hate being broke! I'm broke (so what else is new?) and I so want to buy a lot of things. Not to mention that it's almost time to buy new books and school supplies for the new semester. I'm still trying to figure out how to earn quick cash (legally, of course).

3. Speaking of money, I wonder what career i'll take up when I get out of school. I mean, I'm taking up Communication Arts but I don't know for sure what path to take. I actually want to be in events management or maybe a PR practitioner (alhough I don't know what that is exactly). One thing I know for sure, I don't want to be cooped up in an office all day. I want to meet loads of new people and go to a lot of places.

4. And speaking of travel, I am secretly wishing to get employed by the travel channel so I could visit loads of countries and see the sights and experience new stuff abroad...hmm...or I could just be a flight stewardess...I'm just too short.

5. Aside from being too short, i'm probably too heavy to become a flight stewardess. I imagine that the plane would tilt to one side when i'm on board. Haha...I have weight issues...=D

6. My cellphone is sooo dead! I want to buy a new one but my lack of financial resources is proving to be the most difficult obstacle...(see#2 and 3)

So there...these are just a couple of thoughts on my mind. It's just that I have a terrible headache and I think I need to rest for a while. I'll update later. I swear...

Borrrrriiiiinnngggg!!!!

2004-10-15T13:48:00.000+08:00

Another day has come and honestly, i'm so bored i could eat a fly just to see how it tastes like.
Later, i'll be going out with my dear friend Rose. We'll be going to Rockwell to stroll, watch a movie and just chill...boy hunting is a given of course! haha...
So there...and Rose is planning to invite her (ehem) crush and I soooo want to meet him.

I'm having fun right now because i'm getting to talk to a lot of friends through YM...
I absofreakinlutely love ym!!! It's a life saver! I would've gone mad with boredom if not for YM!

My cellphone is officially dead!
And my mom doesn't want to buy me a new phone yet...

Bummer...
I'm still bored
And I'm boring...
I'm boring exemplified!

Catch ya'll later!

I'm Back!

2004-10-14T20:04:00.000+08:00

I am so back! And you might say that i'm back with a vengeance. After roughly 3 days of complete relaxation, i'm so in the mood for a bit of pangungulit.
We went to megamall (tuesday) and did a bit of shopping for baking stuff. You see, i am now a master at baking!
okay, maybe not a master but i'm well on my way to being one...
We baked chocolate chip cookies and oatmeal cookies and coconut cookies...
Okay...i know what you're thinking...coconut cookies?! what the---
It's actually very good...very um...coconut-ty? bottomline: it's good!

I got the chance to catch up on my reading and i'm looking forward to reading a couple more books in the shopaholic series care of Ms. Vea heehee...luvyah Vea!
SO there...a couple of days and I didn't watch TV or open a computer...
but now i'm devouring every minute i have in front of the tv and computer...
i feel deprived now that i think about it...
but fulfilled because i did something worthwhile
not that blogging isn't worthwhile...
haha!

I'm having loads of free time and looks like i have to plan a lot of stuff for the next days...
help...

G'bye for now...

2004-10-11T16:21:00.000+08:00

Hey there!
I'll be going to Pasig for the next couple of days and i don't think i'll be able to write as much as i should.
At least i'll be going out of my house and i'm so excited...

I'll be learning how to bake and we'll go to Divisoria and MAYBE we'll get to mall-hop (my aunt and uncle are retailers of clothes so...)
Anyways, i'm saying g'bye for now but it doesn't mean that I will never write again...i'm just taking a break and hopfully, i'll get to experience things for myself...

So there...
keep me posted on stuff okay?

What to write...

2004-10-10T16:40:00.000+08:00

vea DEMANDED for an update..so here it is...
problem is, there isn't any UPDATE to write about...
hmm...
We went to Providence last Friday and I started my attemp at being a "bad-girl".
I had a great time!!!
I was with Kyle, ate Arbs, Merlyn, Kate, Olet and Jona. We just sang our heart out. We really didn't care what song we sang as long as we did. We saw a different side of each other (they definitely saw a different side of me..haha) and I so liked what i saw. They were really nice and cool, they knew how to chill and juts do nothing but still enjoy. I wish we could've done that earlier...

I came home around 7-ish (bad na ba yun? haha) and my uniform reeked of cigarette smoke (thanks jona,kate) but no one smelled it coz i was home alone(bad trip!). After a couple of hours, my dad came home and asked me to go to the funeral parlor...my mom specifically asked me not to wear a sleeveless top and i had no intention of wearing one but since she mentioned it...(bwahahaha!) I went there wearing a racer back top and tight jeans...
Shempre she was annoyed but not as annoyed as i want her to be...=D
i was talking to my cousins friends and trying to be all bitchy (not in a bad way though) and tough but it was sooo hard! haha!
Add to that, the earthquake happened right as i was being my baddest so i took that as a sign and kind of lessened my bad-ness...

I hate funerals and stuff...its so gloomy and sad.
If I die, i want to have loads of balloons and flowers and people will wear bright colored shirts (pink!) and no one will be allowed to cry...i don't like seeing grown peolpe cry...
So there...
We buried my uncle this morning and my cousins said goodbye to their dad who loved and cared for them. hmmm...i don't think i would survive without my dad...I would probably cry barrels at his funeral...(morbid!!!)
Okay, i'm freaking me out here! Next Topic!!!

We went to the mall earlier...and as usual, my mom was being such a witch! She REFUSED to buy me a new pair of jeans which costs 300 PhP..Hello?! I think she was trying to annoy me as well...
Of course, AmZ bit back...i folded my shirt so a bit of my tummy was showing (she HATES that..haha) and i wore shades in the mall and walked really arte! haha!
Its fun having a feud with your mom...we don't have any verbal communication and stuff so we don't directly hurt each other but we try to outdo each other with the things we do...=D
It'll blow off soon though, it always does...=D

Hmm....maybe i do have updates, i just didn't know it..
Here Vea, this is for you...sama ko sa BAGUIO!!! =D

Sem Break Countdown

2004-10-07T21:10:00.000+08:00

Bummer! I won't be able to join my friends in La Union Tomorrow...
My uncle died and I feel guilty about going on a vacation while veryone's mourning.
So, being the good girl that I am, I decided to put off my merry-making a while longer.
I had my mom promise me that we would go somehwere I haven't gone to before.
I'm so cooped up here in Manila...I haven't been to Baguio, can you believe?
So there, i'll probably go to Baguio or somewhere with a gorgeous beach! I haven't been to a beach since forever and I super miss the sand in my toes...=D I'll make them kulit if I have to, I'll be a brat about it...basta we're going to the beach! Heehee...
I hope I could stay in my bratmode long enought to convince them, though.
I seem to have trouble being bad...I guess i'm just a push-over. Period.
So there, I don't have any concrete plans this sem break but I assure you (and myself too...)
that i WILL have something interesting to share...=D Wish me luck?!

In the midst of finals...

2004-10-06T20:46:00.000+08:00

It's finals week but I find myself in front of the computer more often than I should...
It's baaadddd i know but hey, to each his own...c'est la vie
haha! just procrastinating...
i'll fail marketing...and computer(what the---)
I hope i won't fail any more subjects though...
sheesh...its been a pretty boring week (and its only wednesday)
You'll be pleased to know that i don't have a crush anymore...
Yep, that's right! No more gay crushes for me...I've seen the light! =D
hurray!
I miss my highschool days again though...
the careless frolicking after classes, just hanging out at the cafeteria ordering juice and chips...
hmm....the only thing i've eaten at the coop are cheese sticks and mojos..=D
i should eat out more...
yeah..i should
and i'm thinking of food in the midst of final exams....
i'm demented!

An essay filled day...

2004-10-02T17:40:00.000+08:00

Well la-di-da i'm still alive!
I've been awake since 4 a.m. because I was thinking of my english papers....
I even dreamt of our professor..("Miss Amery Celiza Acedo, is this the best you can do?????")
So i was in front of the computer as early as 7 a.m. and turned it off at luch time..
One word to describe this weekend...CRUMMY
I have been working non-stop on my papers and i've been studying for my finals...
I'm hoping that all my HARD work would pay off....
I hope i pass Science...hehe...and Filipino....

Come to think of it, it's so weird that i'm havig problems in Filipino...I know how to speak Filipino (though not that good...)
What the heck is wrong here?
I'll just study REALLY HARD i guess..and hope for the best!

After finals i'll just hang out with my friends...i'm also thinking of going to our integration ball...
you think i should?
Hmmm....
So many choices...

My blog isn't THAT crummy is it?

I never expected...

2004-09-30T20:53:00.000+08:00

Hey..this is my 2nd post for today...
I'm super stressed out that I thought that i need some time to unwind and just relax even for just a few minutes...
So here I am again just writing this and sipping a cool glass of orange juice.

I'm anxious to take the finals...no, i haven't studied yet but i just want to get it over with...
We still have a quiz tomorrow in nat sci and i still have to study one more chapter...
i hope i can live through this...
and i have this really painful sore in my mouth...its driving me insane!!!
i want to talk but its just too damn painful...
i feel like crying...
but there's no reason for that...=D
i want to shout out loud but well, i can't. it's already night time..people might throw rocks at me! =)
and if things weren't shitty enough, my teeth hurts because of my braces...
delayed pain, i know *since they were adjusted a week ago pa) but it sure hurts...i can't talk tuloy...
waaahhhh

I can't wait for this to finally be over. When it does, i'm taking a week off and lounge by the pool!!! Wish me luck...

A very distressing day....

2004-09-30T08:07:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was one of the WORST days i've ever had! You see, i decided to take matters into my own hands and wait for my cwush after school so i could get a glimpse of him. I even convinced a good friend to stay with me. That was a wrong decision (staying til after his class)...he was so...um...gay-ish! as in! I hoped that he would be a little more masculine but he's every inch as feminine as me!!! With the hair touch, the extra bouncy steps, the flutter of the eyes...sheesh!!! Of course, that doesn't mean he's gay but it might as well confirm it...

I'm thinking of maybe looking for a new cwush...but it'll be hard.
Sheesh talaga!
I'm so disappointed...
Pero i feel stupid din...haha...
crush ko bading!
=D
maybe this time, i won't be scared to talk to him...
we'll swap make-up tips na lang siguro and borrow each otehrs clothes...
haha!
just trying to make things seem funnier..
=D

Final exams are coming and I desperately need to study. Goodluck everyone!!!

...and the stress intensifies...

2004-09-28T14:57:00.000+08:00

Let me just say this out now....FETCH!!!!

This week just keeps on getting worse and worse....

I'm sooo tired!!!

And i haven't seen my crush yet...i still don't have the courage to talk to him...

a bad week, i'm sure...

GOODLUCK TO ME AND 2CA1

On the lighter side of things....(if there is such a thing)

2004-09-25T22:21:00.000+08:00

I just finished watching America's Next Top Model and I know what i've missed during the past couple of weeks. I know who won already but its cute to see them struggle and stuff...=D So anyways, as i've said, i wasn't allowed to re-schedule my exams for LTS so i have to miss out on our Laguna family thing...NOT!!! I have been belssed with a wonderful dad! He's coming back a bit later from Laguna and he'll be waiting for me until I finish my exams and we'll go to Laguna together...Bait ni Daddy noh?! Haaay...but he's mad though. Kasi daw i'm such a hassle...sabi nya he could be enjoying his stay na there but he has to cut his "day off" short just for me...I don't mind that though...the important thing is that he's wiling to cut his vacation short for me...when he called nga kanina, i was teary-eyed kasi i know how he wants to sleep all day...=D
Hay, i can't wait to see all my relatives again! i love it when we're all together....chaos (in a good way though). Everyone knows and likes everyone so theres no problem between us...on occassion we fight pero petty quarrels lang...haaay...i love my family

2004-09-25T17:47:00.000+08:00

me and my lola...

Posted by Hello

ASAR!!! I hATE THIS!!!

2004-09-25T17:33:00.000+08:00

It's my Lola's bday and we were supposed to go to Laguna earlier...they left me because we had another recording...I don't mind that actually because I was supposed to go with my cousin to laguna...she was super nice to wait for me kahit na super late na late na late ako. But turns out that my facilitator sa LTS didn't reply to mail and well, i;m not excused form the final exams in LTS...she didn't confirm so it looks like i'll be staying home...ALONE...by myself...i'm keeping myself from bawling right now coz i'm still not giving up the hope that Ms. Josue would reply and tell me that its okay for me to re-schedule my exams... I know its kind of far fetched but that's the only hope i've got! Get this, i could've went to Laguna earlier but noooo i had to go and help out with our Filipino project...and we didn't even get to the part where my character comes in! Fetch! I'm totally pissed off right now! I don't want to rant about it anymore kasi its making me feel worse! I'm waiting for 10 mins max and if Ms. Josue doesn't reply, i'll cry na lang...
I so wanted to celebrate with my lola...i wanted to see my titas and titos and my cousins...
argh!!! i want to cry...sana di na lang ako nagpunta for filipino!!! =(

Eternally Innocent

Trying it Out

Call Center

Surprise Addiction

Shattered

The Fairytale Endeth

Back From the Dead

Random Musings...

My little rant...

Innocence Meets Real

You win some, you lose him...

Adios, Tomas!

Untitled

As Filipino As It Gets

Wide Open Spaces

Limbo

Fresh Look

And now, the end is near

Far From Painless

the pain of silence

The Horror Story Continues...

The (Great) Change

summer blues

a series of stupidly unfortunate events!

Fickle-Pickle!

geek mode

sooo..

American Idol

....

2 months already?

Happy New Year!

November 18, 2005---Unforgettable!

First Day...

Finally

What inspires you?

ONE

....

true friends

revitalized

amery the explorer

After a Million-Gazillion Years...

Eternally Grateful To Kage!!!

goodbye summer!

And the 4th idol Is...

And now the end is near...

Bored...Is this True?

Nostalgia Due To The Heat

Interestingly Ironic

Sizzling!

A VERY Summery Summer

Just a Thought...

Jumbled Jumbly Jumbles

Mad! Disappointed! Sad!

I'm Back!

Rejoice! (No not the shampoo!)

It's Nearly Over...

Another Update...still about our play...

A Thousand Hits

Tired as hell...

Ramblings of a Crazy Soul

Longing For A Break..

Prelims...*shiver*

Finally Friday

it's all in my head...

happy new year everybody!

scrooge-ing this christmas eve

Merry Christmas!!!

...and i thought i could write

no classes...chilly weather...and a cup of hot chocolate

Sorry...this is too hard

Ms. Nice Girl, no more(?)

Hmmmm...

COOKIES!!!

The Break Is Almost Ending...

these past few days...

Song Dilemma

A Certified Angel

sighs and boring days...

addicted...

Cheesy Moments...*shudder!*

Prelims...shiver

Cheesy Moments...shudder!

Ranting Mode...Ouch